Flying Trapeze

Dark

2012-02-26T11:33:00.000-08:00

I do not have a bright, happy, trapeze-related post today. Not every day can be a good one I suppose. But I feel like I should give everyone that warning up front, as I am probably about to write the darkest post this blog has known. If you like it for happy, trapeze related technique discussions, you probably want to skip over this one. It's been a dark weekend.

Yesterday I drove out to the mountain in time for the evening, to see and hang out with my friends there. My friend Kelly had her birthday, so I especially wanted to celebrate with her. After hanging out at the mountain's little bar for a round, we progressed to a usual spot where we often have dinner. We met a group of friends there, and were catching up. A woman I had never met came up to this group I was talking to, and their conversation with her kind of took over - and it was obviously something very serious, though I didn't know what was going on. They were talking about cars still being in the driveway, police tape...

Well, after she left, my friend Matt explained. Three doors down from his home (this woman lives in the same community), their neighbors, an older couple, had been murdered on Friday night. Duct taped, with pillow cases over their heads, and shot, both of them. People began to suspect something was up when she didn't show up on Friday night, because they are in the middle of this big event they do every year, this "ski for the cure" fund raiser for breast cancer. Apparently this woman was scheduled to volunteer.

As Matt told me these details, I looked at him, almost with lack of understanding. I couldn't even believe what he was telling me. I asked if there was any evidence that they were running in bad circles. He told me they actually thought their Grandson had done it. He apparently was a drug addict. They think he came to ask for money, and did this when they said no.

A few hours later, when we arrived home, our housemates were watching the news. Apparently, a younger man had driven from the area where we are in the Poconos, towards Philly, and then shot himself. They believe this is the person.

This morning I woke up, and drove from the mountain home. I was thinking about training tonight, and how I wanted to plan my calories to be at my brightest for training. I decided to go to the supermarket on the way home. Once I got in, I immediately got on the bathroom line after the long drive, and pulled out my phone to see if Matt wanted anything in particular from the store. I could see that I had missed a bunch of calls and texts from my Dad and his girlfriend.

My Grandma passed away last night.

She was 98, so she definitely had longevity. My grandfather, her husband, passed away when I was twelve. So that was 28 years ago. Honestly, I feel like she has been slowly dying, since he did. Obviously, we are all slowly dying every day, so why should she be any exception? But she has never been the same. I take some comfort in thinking of them dancing in heaven. Here is my favorite picture of them. When I first took this picture, off the picture on the wall, I was a bit irritated with myself for doing it through the glass, with the flash on. But now artistically, I almost like that it is taken over by the white light...

I don't feel like doing my own dance in heaven tonight, my dance with trapeze. I just feel so, so tired right now, like I just need to slow down. I don't want to have to trust my reflexes right now, I just want to remember her, in her brighter days, and be slow.

I take alot of lessons from my Grandmother's life. The most dominant, is to plan my happiness. To understand that no one is responsible for that but me, no one could be, as we all have to do it for ourselves. I try to live this way, but it's not always my knee jerk reaction to do so. I really have to work at it.

Everyone's days are numbered, so what am I waiting for? There are things I want to do, that I actually am trying to do, but I move so slowly. I often feel like I do this out of obligation to others. But at some level, I have to realize inside that if I allow this to stall going for my goals, I will have myself to blame in the end.

It's not that I think my Grandma would want her influence on my life to be me formulating myself into a more selfish person. I just think, that what she would have wanted for me, what that whole generation of females wanted for themselves, I think - it wasn't in the cards for my life. I will most likely never be a mother. So how I am going to live a densely, rich, fulfilling life, in my later years, anyway? How am I not going to lay there, waiting to die? How can I be bright and vibrant and fit at 98, still contributing to society beyond myself, and happy and positive towards others? What steps do I have to take to get there?

When I wrote that list the other day about things to do when trapeze is closed, I had this in the back of my mind too, I think about this all the time.

And looking at the events that transpired in the Poconos this weekend, perhaps offspring aren't always what they are hyped up to be. Maybe there's a lesson for me in the order of the events I experienced since last night.

I don't have answers today. I just want to remember my Grandma in her beautiful times in her life, a life she was completely content to revolve around loving my Dad and her husband, and in the later years, when we arrived, my brother and myself. She made the best sauerbraten you could ever taste. They boarded dogs in kennels at their house, for people who were on vacation. They always used AIM toothpaste, which I thought tasted so much better than the toothpaste we had at our house. I just always loved going there and being with them, to the house on the hill.

I just feel so bad for my Dad. Who really can handle this day, losing your mother? I would think in any life, this has to be one of the darkest hours.

Goodbye Grams. I'm sorry that when I left my "good job" to become a trapeze artist, that disappointed you. That my getting married so late, and never having kids, disappointed you. I love you.

Happy Weekend Everyone!

2012-02-25T07:56:00.000-08:00

Ahh, a scene from Matt and my favorite Mexican restaurant last night (we met in a Mexican restaurant, so we take this stuff seriously, lol!)...

Umm, yes please!

Anyway, it is the weekend. I set some intentions at the beginning of the week that I shared up here, about my plan for being the best athlete possible. Since in a way, this blog is the story of my life at the moment (well, at least the trapeze and commuting parts of it!), I think it's important that I be honest here.

Intentions I set:

Sunday - fly
Monday - trampoline PTS
Tuesday - date night
Wednesday - fly
Thursday - bikram
Friday - trampoline class with Casey.

Reality I allowed, okay made (personal accountability, Elizabeth!!!) happen:

Sunday - flew
Monday - went out to Italian style dinner with my Mom and Abuelita, and probably consumed 1400 calories in that meal alone, which concluded with a brownie sundae. But in fairness, it was my Mom's birthday, and the school didn't have the trampoline available for our rental anyway...
Tuesday - date night. BTW, I use the words "date night" to mean spending time with Matt, not necessarily that we actually went out on a date. We watched House and ate leftovers from my 1400 calorie dinner.=)
Wednesday - flew
Thursday - Decided I was too beyond exhausted to even consider Bikram. Went home and somehow had enough good luck that Matt was patient enough to indulge me in watching, "New Moon" - well, at least until the cliff diving scene...
Friday - Casey out of town and no organized class available. However, all my friends did a PTS, and I went home instead. Went with Matt to favorite Mexican Restaurant and drank the Circus Boy you see above.

I feel so fat and LAZY...

The Circus Rolls into Town...

2012-02-24T04:53:00.000-08:00

Ahh, check out the merging of my worlds, as the "ghost" of the interior of NJ Transit tranposes itself onto the photos I am trying to get of the fact that Big Apple is setting up in Patriots ballpark (ten minutes from my home!=) ).

I feel like Forrest Gump

2012-02-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

Remember that scene in the movie when he lists off like fifty different ways to prepare shrimp? Well, that's me, thinking about how can I write about doubles again!

So - I just don't have anything new on my mind with this - all I can say is I feel great, and every time I am swinging down towards him, in my set, I believe that we are "gonna catch this one". I truly do. Not in an overly excited, jumpy way - in a calm, confident, convinced way. I honestly just feel puzzled, bouncing in the clams when we miss.

So, anyway, here they are:

I didn't do any twisting stars yesterday.

Okay, I would really like to leave you with something AWESOME today. Since I personally generated nothing awesome to share, I am going with this video I found on youtube. My one year old nephew was entranced when I played this for him, and so was I! A little piece of magic!

Ruminations, then Three Conclusions, re: Structure

2012-02-22T05:24:00.000-08:00

I definitely think structure has it benefits, and I certainly train in a structured way. Lately, though, I have been wondering what role, if any, the way I structure my training has played in allowing me to get into a rut, and if there would be any benefit to trying to change things up. If I always do the same thing, don’t I always have to expect the same result? And doesn’t routine create “comfort zones”? And don’t comfort zones allow crutches?

There are certain parts of the structure I can’t control, for example, the fact that we train on Wednesdays and Sundays. So that is not even worth thinking about, I can’t do anything about it.

There are other parts I do control, like how I warm up my shoulders. By the way, I haven’t forgotten the request for a post about that, and I’m going to do it, I am trying to figure out how to best get it videoed. Anyway, I am extremely reliant on this little warm up, there is certainly, at a minimum, an emotional dependence there. However, if the rut I am in because of that is that I can still fly breaking tricks on my shoulders, more than two years after my surgery, and not be in pain – I don’t mind that rut.

As we actually start flying on the rig, this part is where I am wondering if I am most benefitting myself. Always starting with swing - layout - full. It’s a building progression, so there is some logic there. Plus, swing and layout are two of the most important basics out there, so one can’t deny their place in a regular training regimen. The full I add on – that is more for me – perhaps not as necessary, and I know it. Josh once said he doesn’t think I need to do it. I understand, and mostly do it to keep it fresh, I feel like if I let too much time go, I could lose it. So we would typically have eight turns in a class. In this scenario, I have five left, and the last two are catch attempts, leaving three – “okay, I’m hot and in the seriously trying to make changes now” zone. Lately this has been two twisting stars, and warming up a double.

On Sunday, I forgot that a lot of people would have Monday off for President’s Day. I thought we would have a full class. So I started thinking about how I thought it would be nice to have another twisting star chance, since I tend to get very good, directed coaching after my second one. I always have this desire to try to do the change we talk about, but I can’t, because if I don’t move on to the double, I’m going to have to catch it cold, without having taken one to the net. Which hey – that’s how it is in a show, no? So maybe that’s not all horrible. But because it is an available luxury, we do it, and I know my coaches like to see one without the catcher first, too. They are dialing in to each of our breaks timings and reaction speeds, as well.

So I was challenging myself in my head. Why do I have to do my swing and layout separately? If I was in a show, I would swing, return to the board, then put up a rise and do the layout next. Well, politeness/class manners-wise, I really don’t think that would be appreciated. I think people would look at that as trying to smush two turns into one, and intruding on the fly time of others, which we have all equally paid for. That’s how I would feel, anyway, if someone else did it. However, when I do my warm up swing, I usually swing out and back three times. Why not just layout down, off the third swing? No one would feel like I was taking away from them if I did that. And on most days, when my body feels good and not achy or sore, I have enough height to do that. So I thought I would do that on Sunday.

Then, when I saw how light our crowd was, I realized I didn’t have to, and we still all got plenty of turns, way more than we usually do. And, there’s a stamina component here too – there is definitely a point where it’s too much of a good thing, and there’s not enough energy left by the time we are actually catching. So anaerobic, is the nature of flying, no?

But here’s the thing – here is why I was annoyed with myself. I came up into the back on the third swing, and just asked myself to imagining throwing it, even though I knew I wasn’t going to. And I heard this panicked little reaction in myself – “no, no, no!”. Like this nervous part of me that didn’t want to, a childish resistance. Logically, that’s really irritating, and made me feel like I may be getting too dependent on my training ways. If I’m equally high, way difference does it make if it’s my first turn, or my second turn? Does that extra walk up the ladder really add that much to my warm up?

My conclusions:

1. To the extent that structure transitions me from the working girl in the blouse to the athlete in tights, creating heat in the body and readying the mind, it is my friend.

2. To the extent that structure helps me be effective, it is my friend. For example, ironically, I find the hardest days to post to this blog to be Saturday and Sunday. Because Monday through Friday, I know when I am posting, it’s on the train, and I don’t question it. But Saturday and Sunday are so unstructured, I am not sure when I will do it, and that’s not always to my advantage. Furthermore, because I have unlimited time on weekends, sometimes I try to bite off more than I can chew, and don’t budget my time as well, and end up not completing a post.

3. To the extent that structure creates dependency, it is not my friend, and I need to stay alert about this!

Tactical Lists for When Trapeze is closed...

2012-02-21T05:34:00.000-08:00

With the pending closing hanging over us, I thought I should try to be aggressive about planning my happiness during the interim. I understand that they are going to try to reopen at Pier 40 as soon as they can, but that will only be during daytime, until it gets warm, which is when I work. So I'm not sure how long it will be before I can consider myself in serious training again. I need to manage my expectations by expecting the worst.

So, let's say someone's life was devoid of the joy of pursuing improvement on flying trapeze. How do you live a densely fulfilling, intriguing, interesting life anyway? What else would you do?

Other "avoid getting fat" things to do:
1. Surfing seems the most obvious, but it's not exactly the season for that!
2. Adult gymnastics at Chelsea Piers
3. bikram and other forms of yoga
4. Other aerial arts - static, lyra, silks, rope, duo
5. Pilates
6. Try to find a trampoline class elsewhere
7. Sports Acro?
8. P90X?
9. Dance classes!! I would actually love to do that!
10. I've heard good things about this flexibility training class at the pole dance studio...

Things to take advantage of downtime, because I would never want to sacrifice real training time for these tasks:
1. Purge closets and shelves
2. Prepare tax return

Things that are interesting and fun:
1. Read cheesy vampire books
2. Sew! Have new training wardrobe ready for when drought ends
3. Learn guitar
4. Learn how to cook some new things
5. Paint or draw
6. Take photoshop or illustrator class
7. Take singing class
8. Teach parrot new skills
9. Catch up on the Voice and Breaking Bad
10. Mad Men is coming back!! March 25 suddenly seems like great timing!
11. Ask Galit how to knit and prepare new leg warmers!
12. Go to Rutgers and watch their team compete in gymnastics meets
13. And, checking in at number 13 (how appropriate due to it's double sided nature) - retail therapy!!

2012-02-20T03:51:00.000-08:00

Last night's doubles. I had grip slip on the first one and couldn't fix it earlier enough to get a bent knee force out going, but I tried my hardest to believe the swing I did make was adequate and stay mentally in the game.

I am just starting to be troubled by the fear that I won't get this done before the school closes on March 31st. And that I will lose my fitness in this particular way during that time. And that when we can get back in the training groove, I will have lost alot of the little details that I have learned that have made it better. I'm afraid of not also losing time, but also going backwards. But I am not sure what I can do to alleviate this worry, besides what I am already doing.

Winter, you kick my #$%

2012-02-19T11:28:00.000-08:00

We are so deep in winter right now, and I find this time of the year so challenging now that I am working full time, and Matt is deep in ski season. This is the time of year I spend the rest of the year worried about.

Unfortunately, so so unfortunately for me, the intermediate level flying class is on Sunday night. If only it could just be on a Monday, Tuesday, or Thursday, my life would be epically easier. But, it's not. Commuting just wears on me after time, the 4.5 hours a day filled with changing the location of my body. I am beyond myself when I can have a day where I don't need to be somewhere else that is a minimum of 90 minutes from where I am. But ski season means weekends are supposed to be at the mountain, if I want to spend time with Matt, and my friends there. Which I do. But intermediate on Sunday means that I am not off the hook in terms of spending hours of time changing my location that day either. So basically, the two days where it would be possible to not spend hours of time relocating for work, Saturday and Sunday, mandate that I must for other reasons. Sometimes I feel like the issue is really just living in New Jersey. If I just lived in the city, I wouldn't have to spend so much time, every day, just going somewhere to sleep. If I work out, by the time I get home, Matt is already sleeping. Then I can't put on the light, get organized, put my stuff away. Because of this, by Thursday, my living space is chaos. However, outside, it is charming here, and Matt has lived here for years before we got married, and is attached to the bike trails.

I could just succumb to the fact that life is difficult, scheduling is easy for no one, and just go to the mountain, lose my trapeze skills, not fly, and get fat. Then I would only spend 90 minutes changing the location of my body on Sunday and Friday, and none on Saturday. But I have been trying to keep training, at the highest level a full-time employed in a desk job person can, to keep pushing the upper limits of my ability, to go beyond complacency, and try to fill my hunger for continued improvement. But let's face it, this doesn't happen without dedication.

After being in Vail last weekend, my accumulated laundry totaled four loads and my living space was in complete disarray. I chose to stay in Jersey, for my own sanity. I just needed some time to get back on my feet organizationally. I feel like I am doing ten percent of everything, and nothing well, but if I were to change course, I'd be even more stressed. And so, I am in Jersey, folding away, and hoping to get some ironing in before I need to leave for TSNY in two hours.

Anyway - this is looking like it has the potential to be a good training week, without encroaching on the weekend. I am free of other conflicts, pretty much, and Matt will be away on a PSIA event for several days, so this week could look like this:

Sunday - fly
Monday - trampoline PTS
Tuesday - date night
Wednesday - fly
Thursday - bikram
Friday - trampoline class with Casey.

If things really turn out this way, I can be happy, and head to the mountain on Saturday, knowing I did everything I could and should, and feel like I am still trying to be a serious athlete, as well as a woman whose life has balance.

Geez. And I don't even have kids!

Semantics

2012-02-18T15:55:00.000-08:00

I came across a blog post the other day, written primarily to a silks audience, exploring differences in terminology from place to place. I wish I could remember the author or location, because I would post the link, perhaps some people here would enjoy it! I certainly see that same issue in trapeze/trampoline. I remember discussing this with some out of state teachers I studied with a few years ago, and they expressed that they favored naming a skill for how you do it, rather than what it looks like. For example, this skill...

They would call this "straddle back balance", while I always called it, coming from Club Med, "Rock Star" (as opposed to "Wrap Star", another skill we taught). However, when teaching kids who are only students for a week long vacation, I can also see the logic in just using a fun name that they will remember...

Anyway, Casey laughed when I said the words "full twisting cradle" a few weeks ago - apparently "pure" trampoline people call this skill "corkscrew". And she was telling me how in trampoline, the pulley system is called "the belt". The trapeze family behind a program where I've taught before, however, were quite particular with the staff there, to use "mechanic". They considered the third term - "lines" - as I had learned to call them, to be "school". (I read between the lines (no pun intended) here to deduce "unprofessional". But perhaps that's just my internal "flavoring" - no one actually said that).

Along these lines (still no pun intended!), we received some replacement pages for our logbooks in class the other night. Since I keep this blog, I actually do most of my logging online, so I don't use the book much. But, I've always loved writing about training and the process, and I have notebooks (and backs of Club Med paper placemats and envelopes and random sheets of papers) filled with this stuff from before the web. In a way, it's nice to do it on paper - you can draw pictures, use different pens and colors. Anyway, regardless of where you track your training, to fly there, you still need to have this book, because there are sections where they require flyers in their programs to show particular skills. Once proficiency is demonstrated, they emboss the page with this notary public type stamp.

So there are things in these new pages, that Naomi and I were looking at, and we don't know what they are. For example "rollers". LOL - I'm pretty sure the school doesn't care if our hair is straight or curly, so I'm figuring this is some sort of twisting skill. Another one is named "airplane". Something with the arms out to the side?? Whatever it is, they mention a half twisting one and a full twisting one, but not a regular one (as far as I could see from my glance at the list). Unless a twist is implied in the name itself? But no, that doesn't make sense. If the twist was implied, they wouldn't call it a "half twisting airplane". Like for example, if I said half twisting flexus, "flexus" itself implies a half twist - so a half twisting flexus would be a 360 degree twisting reverse whip, to the stick. (Which sounds so cool, by the way! Someone should do that! (Li Pawson, are you reading?)) Similarly, a full twisting flexus would be a reverse whip 540, to the hands, right?

Semantics!

A Treasure on my Seat...

2012-02-17T04:37:00.000-08:00

Hehe - I know what you guys must be thinking, but no, it's not my PuertoriCAN (as my husband lovingly calls it!!). I found this lovely flyer waiting all over the seats on NJ Transit this morning:

(Yes, yes, I am wearing jeans to work - we are allowed on Friday!) Hey - who couldn't use some "magical, wondrous, amazing" in their life?? I grabbed two, I figure with my group of friends, these won't go to waste. I actually may know people on the show, and perhaps could do better than $10 off, but I'm not sure because I get the Ringling units confused. But either way, these won't go to waste, and I would like to see it!

What a lovely convergence of two of my favorite topics for this blog, circus and the crazy happenings of a commuter on NJ Transit!=)

One Hundred Million Baby Steps

2012-02-16T05:07:00.001-08:00

Isn't it funny how it's so easy to judge in others a behaviour you do yourself?

I would always internally chuckle, as a teacher, when you had that student who just caught their first "layout" in lines - one of those low, put your feet up and whip your hands under, have the lines person gratuitously hold you there for the catcher, then whip down and tweak everyone's shoulders type of things - and then the next conversation they want to have with you is about how now that they caught their layout, they suppose it's time they should start working on their double. Because two follows one, right?

On the flip side, I am continuously amazed by the sheer quantity of baby steps there can be between points A and B. In a way, I am identical to the student above. As a teacher, I remember having to dig deep and try to find patience, and the right words, to explain reality to that student, that student always annoyed me. But, can you blame them for their "ignorance is bliss"? They don't know what they don't know (as Matt always tells me is the case with myself and skiing). But anyway, my point here is that I am exactly that student, of this double, too!

One does not progress to two. One progresses to 1.0001 to 1.0002 to 1.0003, and so on. And as some point, depending on how frequently you train, you may live long enough to get to two. I hope I will get to two.

Anyway - if any of this posts sounds sad, please know I don't feel sad at all. On the contrary, I am elated. I love the feeling of progress, of working through this. I love that we are getting closer. I love working with Josh through this, because he has been my friend for years, and I totally trust him, and his competence way exceeds my expectations, all the time. I feel like he must like working through this stuff too (though please know I am not trying to speak for him!).

So here they are - and hear they are - because I am loving the sound our arms are making as we contact. I thought about having that sound in my ears the whole way home, the sound of wrists coming together with conviction. And I will just continue to expect this moment to happen, and try to give a gentle resistance downward against his wrists, rather than pulling my arms away with my upper body, and trying to use that connection as a point of stability around which I can pressure to move my legs behind me...

Heppy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T03:11:00.000-08:00

My phone is still in Colorado, so I will not be able to get online and write on the train today. Therefore, I am writing before I even leave for work, and must be brief. However, it's okay, because today's content is obvious, with the Holiday and all, I should write a love Poem.

Lizzy's Trapeze Love Poem

Roses are red,
So are my hands.

2012-02-13T03:48:00.000-08:00

I had a bit of a rough trip home yesterday, between accidentally leaving my phone in my Mom’s car (but not being able to reach her since I didn’t have it, to verify that she did), and my two flights being delayed.

The gentleman working the terminal gate told me that while they weren’t serving food to coach class on my flight to Newark, we would be able to buy it. I banked on that because the choices were slim pickings near where we were, and the lines were long. But they never did sell food. So basically, by 4:30 PM Eastern time, I had been awake since 4:30 mountain time, and my entire consumption for the day was:

1. One coffee with stupid powder creamer that I hate (all the in flight crew could offer)

2. Bag of peanut M&Ms

(Yes, the fact that I didn't list water is because I didn't have it). I am so not proud of myself over that. Anyway, I was feeling tired and fatigued, and thinking, “Geez, maybe I shouldn’t throw doubles tonight, I have not set myself up well for quality training”.

Well, it turns out that Josh wasn’t coming in anyway, so it was a good night to feel like I could relent on that pursuit a bit, and just do a fun fly day. My quirky workout went like this:

Swing

Layout

Full

Full twisting shooting star (in belt)

Cutaway half (in belt)

Full

Full attempt to Jesse – missed

Full to Jesse, as follows:

Of course I would have loved to have made the return, but honestly, I was so happy to be in hands. I really haven’t been at all since I started trying to catch the double. I wish I could train four times a week to a catcher who was approved to take flyers out of lines and familiar with the skills I throw. It would be so nice to just work the doubles some of the time, and then mix in other skills I want to keep fresh and show ready, like this full. Maybe as things continue to evolve, that kind of a situation will become available in the New York area. A girl can hope!!

EGE to EWR, one setback at a time...

2012-02-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

So many challenges today, but I am determined to get to TSNY and train tonight. Both my flights have been delayed, but I did budget some extra room. I am tired and dehydrated, but I am watching gymnastics videos on my flight to try to get focused and in the "good form" mindset!

Scene from the airport...

2012-02-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

I used a vacation day on Friday, and headed to Vail to spend a day and a half with some family. I know this is really too short a stay for such a long trip, but I am nervous about using a lot of vacation days early in the year. Especially now that I know TSNY will be closed for a while, I really think I need to rethink my vacation strategy. The thought of not flying for a while not only stresses me out because I know it will make me feel sad, but also from a pure fitness perspective. It takes so much longer to build strength than to lose it!

Here's the flag I followed in the airport...

I tried to see if I could hook up with Denver Imperial Flyers for some training, but they fly outside, so sadly, they can't do it right now. So I'm rushing out first thing tomorrow morning to make sure that I can make my training in New York tomorrow night.

Anyway, it certainly is beautiful out here. Some scenes I have enjoyed so far - and we haven't even been skiing yet!

Appealing words in the airline magazine...

Kingston, my little love bug nephew....

Red velvet ice cream??? Yes please!

Snow coming down through the village...

Mind Rodeo

2012-02-09T05:38:00.000-08:00

(Lizzy's challenge: Write post, while achieving a tone of "I am just telling the events as I perceived them", rather than a tone that sounds like I am making excuses).

Okay! So last night we were at training, progressing through warm ups. Josh assigned me a mission. He told me to work some more doubles in, and don't worry about twisting shooting stars as much for this session. He wanted me to really work on the open, on getting my legs out of the tuck. This was the best part of training, for two reasons:

Reason 1: I was too lazy to carry my twisting belt in this morning, so I would have had to share the school's belt with everyone, which always makes things difficult, and
Reason 2: I did this one, which I was overall happy with (although I wish I had my chin off my chest in the sweep!)...

Now, I can always appreciate the congruity between when things look right, and feel right. Well, not last night, because - relative to my typical performance, that was a pretty good looking double. But, you know what? It was like, INSTANT headache. I think I was trying so hard to throw my head back and be aggressive on the open, that I actually smashed my brain into my skull from the inside. As soon as I stood up to rearrange the clams, my head was gripped with this pulsing migraine. It cleared after a few minutes though.

We carried on to catching...

Try number 1: I swung, and I was feeling pretty perky. Jason said "break". Lately I have been so surprised by how early the break is coming, that it's been taking me a second to actually process it and respond. But I guess I was having a bit of a "Oh, holding a set requires effort and is difficult" moment here. Because when Jason said break, my body was like, "Great! How about faster than immediately?" So, this was long. But it was one of those things, I was so confused about it. Even when I was sitting in the net, directly under Josh, past the clams, I was still looking up at him all dazed, like, "What happened?" And he had to break the news to me that it I was long.

So, onto try number two. My goodness, I was so heady in try number two. I was confused about my first reaction time, and how Jason and I were going to adjust. So I talked to him, and we made a plan. Then Josh called hep and I jumped off the riser. Then I finished the force out, and I realized that I forgot to bend my knees. So now I am all stuck in analyzing that and being upset with myself. I rise up the back, and am lower than when I do the bent knee force out. Next thing I know I am in the set, and Jason calls "break". Then I remember the reaction time plan and try to put it in effect, but I am like slow, late, & lacking energy. Yet - despite all this mental noise and less than perfect execution, Josh still somehow finds my wrists, both of them. I feel that he has me. And I just continue flipping right out of his hands to then net, as if I didn't care whether I stopped the trick or not. But I desperately care...

I need to get a handle on the rodeo in my brain! I know better than to hang on to thoughts about things that have already passed, rather than focusing on what to do in the present. I mean granted, that goes alot faster in flying trapeze than the rest of life, but that makes it all the more crucial in trapeze! That second double did not need to be a miss, and I am ready to stop missing. If I had focused on kicking my legs out, rather than getting tangled in analysis of my reaction speed to Jason's call, I could have fixed it. Sunday I'm going in with the huge intent to stay present no matter what. You know, I come across so many articles that talk about how important it is to chose your thoughts wisely, that your thoughts manifest your reality. Well, here's my first hand example.

My Very Favorite Tattoo...

2012-02-08T05:17:00.000-08:00

As worn by Una!

Woah! No ordinary commute today...

2012-02-07T05:02:00.000-08:00

So, I guess there is a parade today for the Giants winning the superbowl. I am surrounded by grown men in Jerseys and metallic hats drinking beer at 7:30 AM, and parents calling into the schools to say their children will not be attending. "I'm sorry, what? Oh no, they are not sick. We are attending a special event."

Anyway, since I can barely hear myself think, I will just say that, in my quest to be the best possible flyer I can squeek out of myself, I went to the school and bounced trampoline yesterday. I forgot to take video. I kept the work simple with back drops, and tried to do the best possible quality I could manage. I am working on:

1. Really hitting a layout position on the way down, and raising the legs later. So having a sort of crisp distinction of between the layout and the hip angle positions.
2. Making sure I rotate with the upper body, not just the legs.
3. Trying to drive the hips up off the bed, while the shoulders linger on it, to create that kipping motion.

The End. =)

Superbowl Sunday Flying

2012-02-06T06:49:00.000-08:00

You know what would make the Superbowl even better? If half time had a bunch of trapeze acts around the field!!

Anyway, I enjoyed training last night. I also enjoyed that we trained earlier to accommodate the game, so I arrived home earlier and got to spend some time with Matt while he was awake. I also enjoyed the superbowl (what I saw of it!). And, I also enjoyed the Voice after it, I have been anxiously anticipating it's return. So, it was a good night!

I had a good starfull in practice. The feeling I had after was, if I take the time to really pike upside down over the bar for this trick, before starting the forward movement, I achieve a better result. The reason I've been cutting it short is I feel so low - I feel that I don't have the time to put all that movement in. I feel this urgency to just get on with the rotation and twist, that I can't spend all that time on the bar. It's hard to swing in lines, and it harder to swing in lines in a twisting belt. When I look at the difference in height I'm coming back with, relative to the doubles below, I think I should just consider doing the skill half time. I'm actually losing height in my swing - when I'm out of lines off the same riser for those doubles, I'm gaining height.

The thing is though, when I do take this out of lines, I'll want it to be full time. So I don't want to train it half time and then take it out full time. So I'm a bit conflicted. (I have always prefered full time stars because I have a tendency to be late off the board. Having that first full swing, I can kind of rush through it if I'm late, and if the catcher kind of builds his swing at the same time, he can get there a bit later, and we can save the trick.) Anyway, here's that starfull, complete with Randy making fun of me for filming it off the tivo. (But just so everyone knows, the very next thing he asked is if I would film him too!!)

When we moved on to catching, I tried doubles again. The first one felt good, though I was focusing very much on going for it and being aggressive. I just note that, because I look at my form and feel all irritated that my legs aren't glued together better through the swing. When I concentrate on that, I achieve it - but my mind was elsewhere. Anyway, Josh said it's about as close as we will come to catching, while still missing. I wish we could train today, and try again.

Anyway, when I went for the second one, I was feeling pretty good again, coming down the hill. Then the break call came, and for whatever reason I wasn't ready, I thought it would come later. So I kind of cut it short in an effort to "catch up". Oh well.

Not to sound repetitious to my earlier posts, but taking a narrow grip is making all the difference to me in the swing. When my second hand ends up wide on the bar, that's when I'm experiencing the grip slip. I feel much more in control with my hands right in front of my eyes.

Ha! I have made myself a inspiration mini-play list

2012-02-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

about the double. That way I can listen to it over and over as I commute into training tonight, which btw we are doing early because of the Superbowl.

Lizzy's Double Back Inspiration Mini-playlist...

You spin me Round
I'm Coming Out
Never Surrender
Don't Stop Believing

The End=)

Fast, Hard Motions, at the Right Time

2012-02-04T14:44:00.000-08:00

We pursued the objective above on trampoline last night, after I realized that fast, hard motions at the wrong time can result in a trampoline print stamp on one's nose! Anyway, we worked a bit on back drop to stomach drop. I didn't get any video of this, but my "thing" is that I am tucking around, rather than driving my hips up and over the top. So basically, to improve it I'd change the way I am generating rotation, and get the feet more involved in moving downward and beneath me too. I wish I had film of both this and the full twisting shooting stars I tried on Wednesday, because I was ending up rotationally short on those starfulls too, and I can see it is exactly the same issue. So this is a first hand example for me of how working trampoline can help my flying without taxing my hands and shoulders.

Anyway, everyone in our class decided we will do one of those "PTS's" on Monday night where we can practice, I am want to focus on the quality of my back drops during that time. And, I have homework, which is to watch level nine and ten bouncers on youtube, and really study the first quarter of their rotation off the bed, to look at the movements in the hip drive and angle.

So, we also tried a combination where we did seat drop, hands and knees drop, then front salto to seat drop. Then we took it further and tried to put the front salto on our feet. I couldn't quite get it there, a few times I had enough rotation to bonk my heels before landing on my tush.

Then we did these multiple back drops from lying down. I always want to call them "bug bounces". We had to keep it to ten or fewer, and then rotate through to stomach. So basically, you have to try to generate enough "umph" without the advantage of jumping from height. If you mess up you end up short - back on your feet or tush, as I did in my middle one here...

We also did another timed five highest bounces. I had 5.6 seconds last night, as opposed to 5.4 seconds last week. Movement in the right direction, even if subtle!

After class I had the nicest talk with Casey. I really like her because I truly think she "gets" the challenge of trying to live this lifestyle that is very centered on fitness and structure and athletic achievement, while working in the context of great love for family and wanting quality time with them, and also putting a large chunk of the days' hours towards work. We talked again of possibly going down on a road trip to Maryland for a trampoline meet. I would be so excited to do it, just for the experience of it all. Imagine competing in a new sport at age 40! I would be so psyched, that is something I would never have expected my life to include. Plus, if we did it during that time TSNY was closed up here, we could visit the rig down there!!

The only thing is, the whole leotard without fishnets thing. The circus really spoiled me in this regard. Plus, Casey told me in the rules you are supposed to wear white shoes. I actually tried my new ballet slipper last night and they were awesome for this. But, they are pink. So with no fishnets, and white shoes, I would feel like such an abbreviated lined cellulite-a-zoid. But I'm thinking some Sally Hansen leg spray, plus a specially designed white shoe with a very low vamp (to at least show as much of the arch as possible, with vertical diagonal lines on it, rather than horizontal), plus a leotard with sparkly sleeves (to draw the attention off the legs), might be possible solutions. (I am so freaking picky, I know, I know!)

Anyway, after TSNY, I headed over to my friend Leah's birthday party. A bunch of trapeeps were there, and we had such a great time!...

Our Precious, Precious Shoulders!

2012-02-03T06:37:00.000-08:00

I received an anonymous comment this morning about the process I follow for warming up my shoulders. Anonymous, thank you for your comment, and yes - I will put the routine up here - I'm going to get some pictures or videos of that because I think it will be much easier to show that way. But also, please check out Abbey's awesome shoulder strength/health for the aerialist program - that is my post from October 5, 2011. (The title is "Even I Get Sick of Hearing the Inside of my Own Brain Sometimes" - geez, I could have done better naming it!) Our mutual friend Brooke credits this program, plus a ton of icing, to healing an injury her doctors were telling her might require surgery.

So - specifics movements of the warm up to follow, and I just want to talk about four other things today that are close to the topic.

The first has to do with warming up in a bigger sense. I believe it serves me to have a process that I know very well, that I know is complete, to "get in the zone". Because as we flirt with that place at the edge of our current level of ability, and we are really trying to make changes in the air - let's face it - it can be intense. Especially when the catcher is up there. So, I really relish the process of getting increasingly warm, and layering harder and harder skills onto myself as my body's heat increases. Kind of like the rings that follow throwing a rock into the pond - things are getting bigger and bigger as the night moves on. And to me, the warm up encompasses both the mind and the body. The mind gradually enters that place of deeper focus as the movements become more complicated, and require more to be done in a relatively equal amount of time to the net.

Now, having said that, I acknowledge that there is certain danger with attachment to anything, including warm up methodology. You will not always have the time or situation you are used to, especially if you are performing a gig. Not that anyone would hire me to miss a double in their act, so I would never have to fly a double professionally - but let's say I was actually catching it and someone did. Right now I always precede my doubles with the shoulder exercises, a swing, a layout, and a full, to the net (meaning, in a way that requires less concentration/intensity than if there was a catcher there). It's a luxury I simply wouldn't have in a show. However, when showtime comes, you have to be ready, and there are no excuses, no one is interesting in hearing about your attachment to your specific way of warming up. So, if I had a show to do, I would deliberately change my warm up in the weeks preceding it, to something more like what I would experience in the actual show.

Okay, the second thing I wanted to talk about actually has to do with the shoulder. Many aerialists struggle with shoulder health, and a few years back, I saw my friend Jonah go through an injury. When he returned, he had switched to a left handed take off. My injury and surgery were also to my right shoulder, so I was very intrigued by this possibility. So, I tried it. Boy, does that feel wrong and awkward.

However, because I truly believed this would have value, I stayed with it. So now, as I am warming up, I will do everything that is off the lower risers, and without a catcher, left handed. So, in my normal warm up, that will be my swing, my layout, and my full.

I still don't feel as comfortable as I do on the right side, but I've kind of tried to mentally let go of my need to be that comfortable. I just try to look at it as good "adversity training" - an opportunity to prove to myself that I can still have a good overall outcome, even when I am not totally at ease beforehand. I am not dependant on everything being "perfect". That is good to know.

And, I have felt better and better about the quality of my goofy take offs over time, they bother me less than they used to. I may never feel as good as I do on the right, but I like knowing I am doing something to ration the impact on my right shoulder, as well as encouraging equal, symmetrical exercise in my body. I also believe that there is a mind component to this as well - I have read alot of articles about how using your weaker side stimulates the opposite side of the brain, and encourages myelination there. So I think it helps you even think better. I try to do simple writing tasks, like check marks on a list at work, left handed, as much as I can, too. I like having options, not being exclusively dependant on my right!

When the catcher goes up there, I just can't do it though. That may change over time, but the one time I tried, Josh told me it completely changes the timing of my take off, he would not even be able to call me the same way. Plus, I felt so desperate for that hep, standing there holding the bar. I'm just not as strong on that side. (And I've been using the left for more than a year now!!)

Anyway, my third

Finally, a note on keeping inflammation down. I think you guys know I never want to sound preachy, but right now I'm about to risk it - trapeeps, please be careful with ibuprofen. It feels so good to fly without swelling in the shoulder, and I understand the appeal. But overusing ibuprofen can damage your kidneys. I can talk about shoulders being precious, and of course - they are - but if you REALLY want to talk precious, you'd talk kidneys. I love flying from the bottom of my soul, I would be devastated without it in my life, but I am not willing to risk my kidneys for it, long term. Ice is so much safer, as a method for controlling swelling. It's a pain to ice. It's cold, messy, wet, time consuming. It's so much easier to take a pill - but I won't do it anymore. As Don once said in his trapeze writings - there are no short cuts!

Practitioner of the Process =)

2012-02-02T04:57:00.000-08:00

The remarkable thing about flying trapeze is, how much fun you can have while you repeatedly don't meet your objective. I have definitely gone through some darker periods with this double, and now I have almost evolved to a place of much reduced emotion about the whole thing. I feel like, one day we will catch it, so I just have to keep trying, and hope I don't get hit by a car or something before that day. If I can manage that, I should be able to experience an out of belt double catch before perishing.

Anyway, Josh was telling me that he can see my hands kind of swiping, and I know he is right, I actually feel myself doing that. So I need to work on providing him a more stable target, as well as that constant other thing I have to work on, simply removing my body from the tuck!

Anyway, it's very rewarding for me to go in there and chip away at these problems. I just like feeling like I am keeping focused on goals, that I am still serious about this all, and that I am backing it up with the strength and flexibility work it requires. Last night Sarah and I actually ended class with some back walkovers. Mine are horrible, but they were never good or correct when I was little either. It just make me happy that I can still do it!

My other observation is that more than ever, I am benefitting from taking a narrow grip on the bar...

A Trapezist in Transit

2012-02-01T05:56:00.000-08:00

Karma
Last night I received a swift spank in the tush, compliments of karma.

Did your Mom ever tell you, "If you can't say something nice, just don't say anything at all. Silence is always an option."? Because my Mom told me. But did I heed this warning? No. I started a sub-column in this blog. I narrowly avoided calling it, "Behavioural Atrocities Observed on Mass Transit," and instead chose "Behavioural Observations on Mass Transit," to give myself the option of including things that were funny, not just offensive. But what was the real spirit of this sub-column? I was giving myself a platform to make fun of others - to stand in judgement, rather than leaving that to the higher authorities. And was that a nice, classy choice? No, that was righteous and mean spirited. Well guess what. The joke's on me. Because guess who the idiot on mass transit was last night?

And, I accept responsibility, I deserved it.

So Here's What Happened...
So I am on the train, deep in the world of my mind and imagination. I'm working my laptop with one hand, and my iphone with the other, as the iphone always gets faster internet and involves less waiting. On the laptop, I'm deeply lost in writing. On the cell phone, I'm mulit-taking between reading an article on creatitivity and watching the Couch Gymnast's picks for best floor routine choreography. Lost in the special world of Lizzy's magic land, the deep parts of my brain that insatiably sponge up my interests.

By the way, both the article and the floor routines were fantastic, so here are links in case anyone else would enjoy them too. I just recommend that if you do indulge in these, you don't get so distracted that you lose track of your external surroundings, like I did.

http://www.creativitypost.com/
The "Floor Gems" - http://www.thecouchgymnast.com/?p=5070

For whatever reason, there were no announcements on the train last night. But I don't worry too much, because mine is the first/last stop on the line, depending on which way you are going. So, on the way home, they walk through the train after everyone detrains, to make sure no one is on it. Plus, I have a pretty good "internal clock", a feeling for the fifty minutes or so we spend on that train for that part of the trip.

So we are rolling along. And then we stop. It kind of seems like time to start paying attention, so I glance out the window to see what stop it is. I can't see a sign, but I know I don't recognize it as Raritan, so I know I'm okay. And back into writing I dive.

About five minutes later, I'm all, "Geez, we still aren't moving." But, usually they would make an announcement if the train has to wait for traffic ahead, which often happens. But I know the PA system is out. So I decide to get up and walk down the train to see if I can get some more information, or a better perspective to see what stop we are at.

As I walk the length, I become increasingly panicked as I realize there is no one else there. I am the only person left. All the doors are locked. When I arrive at the front and realize I am truly alone, I frantically start calling the numbers listed on the posters around the train, for NJ Transit services. I get recordings that tell me all those services end at 7PM, and to call back tomorrow during normal business hours.

So now I am starting to feel almost claustrophobic, kind of eerie. I see we are lined up on the side I didn't sit on, next to another train, and realize I am probably at the yard, wherever that is. I finally decided the terrorist hotline number probably has someone working 24 hours, and decide to call that one. So thank God someone answered who can help me. He asks me this series of questions to figure out what yard I am at, and which train at the yard I am locked in. Then he asks me if it is dark. The answer at that moment was no, but now I am waiting for the power to go out, and I feel this knot around my heart. He says he will send someone to help me, and we hang up.

So, I call Matt. Part of me feels like such an idiot that I don't even want to tell him the story of what I did, but I need to let him know I will be late. And part of me just wanted to hear his voice because I was panicking.

So we hang up. And I am waiting. And he texts me to please let him know when I am off that train. And I am waiting and waiting and waiting, like 15 minutes go by. I write him back and say I am panicking and considering trying to break out of an emergency exit.

Now, rationally, I know that is a bad plan. I know help is supposed to be coming, and I know if I break out of an exit, I might break part of the train and be billed for it. Plus, then what happens? I have to walk over all the live tracks to try to figure out where I am and how to stop being there? What if I touch the third rail and get electrocuted? I know it sounds far fetched, but this actually happened to a friend of mine from high school. She burned her entire arm, and had to have years of skin grafts after that. Plus, what if I avoid electrocution but get hit by a train? Again, this sound far fetched, but someone I know actually got hit by part of a train on Sunday night, had to have surgery to relieve the pressure on her brain from internal bleeding, and is still in a coma right now. So, I am like, not in a good mental place at this moment. Cognitively, I know this is not a huge deal and I should just try to stay calm. Emotionally, I'm fighting increasing panic as I'm having visions of spending all night on the train, breathing the recycled carbon dioxide in the air.

Matt writes me back that he found the train yard online and he will come, he will be right there. And then the door opens, and I am rescued by Jim...

Scenes from the Rail Yard

On the left below, please find Jim, who was nice enough to let me off that train. He commented that he would hope someone would do it for his wife or daughter. On the right is the big board they use to schedule the trains...

A train pulls in...

Here is their little outdoor dining area, with BBQ...

The trains lined up in the distance, as we pull away...

So that was my NJ Transit adventure. So I went home, I was like, exhausted from the drama of it all. I went to sleep.

The Recurring Dream Recurs...

I've mentioned that I keep having this first day of college dream, over and over. Well actually, another form of the same dream I have been having is that I went back for another season at Club Med. I had this version of the dream last night. I had just arrived in my new village, and was walking around, trying to see who I knew on the team, who was on the circus team, how the village was laid out, etc. I was delighted to find and say hi to Silvan Harnik Davidson, and Megan Carter-Yoshida, Takashi Yoshida, and Dave Cavaletto. They were all telling me that we had a seven person circus team, but that we had to do fly shows every night, and we were NOT allowed to have misses in the act. So basically, everyone had to fly a trick they knew they could catch and return 100%. So they told me all the tricks they were all doing, and asked me what I wanted to do.

I realized my best bet would be a shooting star, so I went off to try to find and meet the catcher, to talk to him about that. So, I finally meet him, and he tells me that he has never caught a shooting star before, and he doesn't know the timing.

So then I am walking around trying to find where the restrooms are in this village, and I realize that Matt doesn't even know I am there. And I just want to call him and tell him, but then I realize that I don't even know where I am, what country of the world I am in. So, I start asking all the G.O.'s around me, but now I can't find any that I know anymore, and all the ones I come across don't speak English.

I'm sure my NJ Transit adventure inspired this dream...

Carrots, beets, and back drops!=)

2012-01-31T06:57:00.001-08:00

To start today, I would like to say something that has nothing to do with anything acrobatic or aerial. This is the lunch I had yesterday:

Isn't it pretty?? It is called carrot and beet salad, and it has shredded basil on top. : ) Anyway, I thought this would make a better picture for today than another pixelated still pulled off a video!

So then, after work, I met up with Naomi and Lauren for a trampoline PTS - that's the one where you just practice your basics without an instructor. We again had a lot of fun. Here are some of my antics, both good and not so good...

Then I did ten negatives for pullups, and then twenty v ups, and then I got a brown-rice spicy tuna and carrot roll, and went home.

I'm really starting to like bouncing, I felt happy the whole way home. I think that if I were one of those super rich people who had the opportunity to design my life as I would perfectly want it, I would bounce and practice hot or bikram yoga every day. I would get two massages a week, and spend the rest of my time flying and arranging a little traveling circus that went to nursing homes. It would be a little show for people who are not mobile enough to actually get out to the circus, we would bring the circus to them. A little show that tells a story, like a take on the Wizard of Oz or something, and it would have music from their era that they would like.

And then I would go home to my stone tudor house, with hydrangeas all around it, and my rig with the adjustable Lucite, AB crystal bedazzled platform in the backyard - and enjoy a delicious low fat dinner prepared by my personal cook. And then I would eat cinnamon infused dark chocolate and blueberries and tend to my green house with Matt and Beauty (which would also be in my backyard, where I would grow my own strawberries and basil). (And of course, I would make notes for any new supplies we needed with my green sparkly pencil).

The end!

Three Things I'm Excited About

2012-01-30T04:46:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty typical night on the rig last night. All I can say is that despite the fact that we haven't caught this double yet, I believe we will. One day things are going to line up right, and I can move this task from my future to my past...

Anyway, since I don't particularly have too much to say on the flying front today, I thought I would take inventory of some other things that are getting me all fired up!

1. I am so enjoying watching these X-games. Came home after flying last night, made myself a bit of dinner, and watched these snowboarders tear up the half pipe. I love to watch it, they look so free in the air!

2. One of my biggest concerns with all my scheduling issues is that I want to spend more time with Matt than I get to. Right now we are in ski season, and that is particularly his sport, so he is away a lot. But there is a bright spot in the future. Matt said that when ski season ends, he will come to a trampoline class with me. He knows it is great cross training for skiing in terms of balance, body awareness, coordination, etc. I think, that when he takes a class, he will really like it. So, I am kind of hoping this might be an athletic pursuit we can both really enjoy, and do together. Like I'm kind of hoping he will want to make it a regular study, rather than a one off thing. My fingers are crossed!

3. The American Cup, which is a prestigious international gymnastics competition, is being held right here at Madison Square Garden on March 3rd. I have been wanting to buy tickets, but I really didn't want to go alone. I was having a hard time trying to figure out who would want to go, and would truly enjoy it - because I hate to force something like this on someone. Well, last night my friend Dana and I were talking at flying, and she said she would love to go too! So, I am hoping to get the tickets today, wo hoo!

One More Trampoline thing...

2012-01-29T06:33:00.000-08:00

I forgot one more part of trampoline class (that we did on Friday). So, we had this task, that we will start bouncing at a comfortable height, and say "ready" when we are prepared to bring it up. Then, when our feet hit, Casey started the timer on her phone. We had to do the five biggest bounces we could find in ourselves, while staying on the trampoline and controlled. So, my time was 5.4 seconds. So, next time we bounce we'll do it again, and we have to try to make it longer.

Anyway, onto today's plan. I am at the mountain house right now. Matt's teaching at Alpine mountain today, but I am going to meet my friend Greg at Big Boulder. Greg's teaching right now, but we are meeting at 11 and I'm just going to do a few runs with him until 12:30. And then I have to head back to New Jersey, because I have SO much ironing to do to even be able to get dressed for work this week, and I'm flying at TSNY tonight.

Pullovers, Front 3/4, and Where to Put the Arms!

2012-01-28T10:18:00.000-08:00

I loved training trampoline again last night. When I came home and I was trying to go to sleep, I sort of felt the sensation of still bouncing, like I was imagining that I still was.

The thing about it was that they way Casey is arranging our workouts, I don't feel stressed out. A lot of that has to do with her personality, she knows her stuff, and she is not pressuring us, and is relaxed. So, I am relaxed and I can just have fun. We also are not beating anything to death, we move from working one skill to working another. There is so much to explore!

The nice thing about being on the earlier side of the learning curve in a sport is that you can feel that achievement, like you are getting things done. It's kind of hard for me in flying these days, a lot of the things I had the potential to achieve easily, I already have. So you are left with the harder pursuits. This is one the reasons I wanted to do trampoline, to get back into that place of momentum.

So last night we warmed up, and then we did some back tucks in the belt. Then we went to working on back pullovers again. So, to answer the question I had last week - yes, you do have to not touch the trampoline with your hands, to do the skill right. Casey told me all I have to do to achieve it, is bounce higher. So after a few lower ones I felt brave enough to take it up a little. I watch this video, and laugh at myself, because look at how happy I am after the first time I actually do it, I'm all, "Yeah! Check that off!" But the other thing that makes me think I am a dork, is that I am taking the heps from the trapeze class that is going on next to us.

Anyway, after those, we moved on to front three quarters. So here is the work I did on those. I am such the non-aggressoid, and for some reason, I am really ducking my right shoulder here. I look like I am trying to tuck, duck and roll a burning fire off my shoulder, lol. But, it's a start.

I used to do a suicide dismount for the fly show through most of my Club Med days. We would have the hands out to the side for that, but Casey said in trampoline, that is wrong, you have to keep the arms by the ears. So, I was trying.

I wish I was good enough to bounce on a trampoline in a handstand

2012-01-27T05:18:00.000-08:00

Because, if I was, then I could ask Casey if we could work the following sequence of movements - rebound off hands, back tuck plus a quarter to tummy drop. I think this would totally help my double, if I were good enough to do it. But I'm not. So I won't ask her that.

But anyway, I'm still excited to bounce tonight!

Um btw, did I mention that Casey is a former NATIONAL CHAMPION on trampoline??? How legit is that? My conversation with her, that lead to me knowing this, was so funny too. It went something like this:

Me: Did you ever compete?
Casey: Yes, I won Nationals.

Boy, did I ever have to pull my chin off my chest! I felt like an idiot for not knowing.

So then, I proceed into work the next day. My friend and coworker that I sit next to is named Petra, and she is from Czech Republic. I knew that she was a rhythmic gymnast when she was younger, and that her Mom actually ran the gym and was a judge.

So anyway, I'm telling Petra this story about the conversation with Casey. Petra proceeds to tell me that she too was ranked #1 in her country. Can you imagine?? This is over the course of 24 hours. Petra then proceeds to tell me though, that it was no big deal. That Americans make a much bigger deal about this stuff, and that it was actually expected that she would win. There was no fuss made over the winning, the fuss would have been made if she didn't win. Here is a picture of her training in her younger days...

Anyway, I felt like quite the relative underachiever that day!

The Bubble Bursts...

2012-01-26T07:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was quite the "off" day at training. Basically, the news broke that they will need to shut down this training location by the end of March. It feels like someone turned the sun off, like there is just this cold darkness all over everything.

I know they intend to reopen, but the bottom line is, if the new location isn't accessible from work by the time class starts, it really doesn't matter. I sort of felt like the situation I had, working six blocks from the school, was this shimmering, beautiful bubble. And now it's about to burst. Maybe by some miracle they will somehow relocate closer to my office, so I am just trying to stay positive and believe that somehow, no matter how the cards fall, I will find a way to make it work.

What's really depressing about it is that if they have to be out by the end of March, they need time to tear down, so I would imagine that classes are going to have to stop even earlier than that.

Anyway, here are some clips from training - again, just not a great day.

Liquid Chalk?

2012-01-25T04:45:00.000-08:00

Image courtesy of Gibson

What a curiosity, I received an email from Gibson yesterday about their new product, liquid chalk. It said they had test marketed it to several gymnastics gyms, and the gymnasts said it worked the same, just less dusty. This sounds like it has the potential to be a good thing then.

Image courtesy of Gibson

But - I am just so curious how you apply it? Does it spray on? And then I suppose you have to wait for it to dry? How long does that take? Is it just regular chalk mixed with water, or is there some sort of chemical that makes this product possible. If so, is it toxic? I know alot of people are down on rosin, which I thought came from tree sap. But I've heard people talk about it being a carcinogen. So this stuff is all just curious to me.

But you know, the other day I was talking about humidity, and how having some actually increased my grip on the bar. And also, you always see gymnasts spraying the bars with sugar water before big international competitions. I don't ever remember doing that when we competed as kids, and I don't know why we wouldn't have, if it helps. Maybe we just didn't know better. But anyway, this potential for increased grip through humidity definitely intrigues me!....

My nephew reminds me why I do trapeze...

2012-01-24T03:34:00.000-08:00

Well, he may be only 17 months old, but Kingston clearly gets it - the pure, joyous exuberance, of swinging through a pendulum...

Wait, how much rotation is that???

2012-01-23T04:31:00.000-08:00

With all this trampoline and all, somehow it directed my mind to thinking about what we call the "double" on flying trapeze. If you really think of it, let's say you do a double on the trampoline. You start with your head up, and you finish with your head up. You have truly accomplished 720 degrees of salto.

But, as I've been considering it lately, when we release the bar on the double for flying, we are already inverted. So, scrub off 180degrees there. Then, you do the flip, and really you do a quarter more, right? - before you make the catch. Some people say they even like to open earlier, with the belly button, if it was a flashlight, more shining at the ridge rope under the pedastal, than at the net itself. So really, we name it a "double", but it's actually, at most, 450 degrees of rotation. All the more reason to be irritated with myself that I am having a hard time getting it correctly done.

Speaking of, here's the better of the two from last night...

Anyway, moving right along -

A flying trapeze layout is really different than what you call a layout in gymastics as well. I mean, in gymnastics, again, a layout is truly a full 360, in contact with nothing in the outside environment. A layout on trapeze, to catch - it's almost like you are not doing a rotation at all. You just hang your feet up there, and kind of leave them in the same place. Then you release the bar, and the hands kind of do a quarter rotation to the catch. But, the feet don't really move that much at all. It's kind of the shape of an atari symbol, no? (For anyone like me, who can remember the 80s...lol). It kind of makes me feel somewhat "dirty" to imply, using the name "layout", that there is a flip...

Bouncing with Naomi, Part 2

2012-01-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

All right, so on to the level three Naomi and I went. We would read the order, then pinpoint what we thought the "yech" they tried to designed into it was. Then we would go there first, and try to isolate it. Then went we felt ready, we would try to run the whole thing.

Naomi is much braver about bouncing high than I am !

I ran the level three twice, apparently, but I am so disappointed in my form in both of these. Would it have killed me to put my legs together? But, I guess that is not what I was able to have on the forefront of my mind as I went through it, and it's easy for me to judge looking at this two days later.

The routine is:

1. 1/2 twist to seat drop

2. Hands and knees drop

3. Front drop

4. Return to feet

5. Jump 1/2 twist

6. Pike jump

7. Seat drop

8. 1/2 twist to feet

9. Tuck jump

10. Jump full twist

Anyway, the yecky thing here is right up front, the half turn into the seat drop. Surprisingly, even though it's half of a swivel hips, it's kind of harder to dial the energy you are used to putting into swivel hips down. Even as I look at this two days later, I can see that I rushed into the twist off the bed and actually ended up over twisting it. I would have been better off to just go up and then really glue my legs together, then put the twist on. Sometimes it's harder to be gentle than aggressive, apparently! But, this reminded me of what Jesse was telling me when he did those full twisting cradles the other day. He was saying it's tempting to start twisting early, but actually easier to do it if you start later.

Anyway, if you don't get the good parallel landing on the seat drop, it's makes the transition to hands and knees quite awkward.

So, on to level 4, which goes:

1. Straddle jump pike

2. Seat Drop

3. 1/2 twist to seat drop

4. Front drop

5. Return to feet

6. Tuck jump

7. Jump full twist

8. Pike jump

9. Back drop with legs straight

10. Return to feet

So, here the sticky issue is transitioning from the pike jump to the back drop. And, also, it particularly specifies that you have to have your legs straight on the back drop. When I tried it a few times before putting the whole thing together, I would tuck it. But somehow when I ran the whole thing I was able to keep them straight. I think if we were actually being judged though, I would have gotten into trouble for not grabbing my knees on the tuck jump. I actually had fun running this routine though.

Okay, so on to level 5. Well, again, I am not really ready to run this entire routine yet. I just started learning the pullover, and wasn't going to try that outside of having Casey there. I'm pretty sure I could have done the front tuck, because I've done that before and used to do that as part of my regular floor routine in gymnastics. But again, I haven't revisited it yet in this particular chapter of study, and I certainly haven't done it connected to the tuck jump yet. So, I just substituted forward and backward rolls as "place keepers", to allow myself to at least try to run the middle of the routine.

Again too, I think I mentioned this the other day, but - the straddle jump into the stomach bounce is really uncomfortable. It's quite easy to do a high straddle jump, but to go into the front bounce from there just seems so like a bad decision, with the potential to compromise your spinal cord health. I didn't want to do it high, so I tempered it, but that caused me to run out of steam.

By this time too, I kind of had my eye on the clock, and was trying to rush because I know my train doesn't wait for me. So, this is - eh. But, you know, I was able to do it, get a few leg lifts in, make my train. Obviously it's the beginning of a work in progress.

The order for level five is:

1. Back drop with straight legs

2. Pullover free

3. Straddle jump pike

4. Front drop

5. Seat drop

6. 1/2 twist to feet

7. Pike jump

8. 1/2 twist

9. Tuck jump

10. Front Somersault tuck

Okay, so on to the primary study tonight, fly time, yeah!!...

Bouncing with Naomi, Part 1

2012-01-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

Last night I signed up for Casey's trampoline class. Unfortunately, she got sick and had to cancel.

TSNY offers this other option, you can be approved to do a rental. Since Naomi and I had already blocked out this time on our calendars, we decided to do this as an alternative. So, in this situation, we were not really going to push the outside limits of what we are working on or anything, just kind of collecting repetitions of the basics.

The last time we trained with Casey, she talked about starting with level 5. I am flattered by her assessment. I did feel nervous about skipping 1 - 4. I'm fully aware that confidence on trampoline is not my strong point, and what I can do physically probably exceeds what I am mentally prepared to do. I mean, in the past, in lines, I have done fulls, double fulls, and double backs. But out - practically nothing, not even a layout. In my perception, trampoline is MUCH more dangerous than trapeze, at least for me as an individual. If you've grown up training trampoline, you probably would see it oppositely.

However, I do think there is something fun about it, and I understand the value it offers to the trapeze artist, in terms of being able to isolate and really rep a movement, without burning up your hands or putting unnecessary stress on the shoulders. Since my shoulder surgery, I am really all about rationing impact to the shoulders, and training as intelligently as possible.

So I think that, as long as I don't try to rush beyond where I am ability wise, and where I am comfort wise with trampoline, this can continue to be a great training tool. I just want to make sure I train safe and don't try to rush beyond my limits - because if I couldn't do trapeze because of a trampoline injury, I would totally hate myself. I would go into a deep depression over something like that.

So, since Casey wasn't there, I asked Naomi if they had ever gone through 1 - 4. Naomi said she had worked a bunch on 4. We decided to train the routines. We had an hour, and this was a lot of fun. It also seemed like the perfect amount of time to train, because just as I felt I was getting a bit tired and hitting that point of diminishing returns, the clock ran out. We finished off with a bit of conditioning, and I ran to the train.

We started with the level 1 routine. It is the only comfortable routine (well, from my perspective, obviously. I'm sure some people are comfortable with the 10!). It includes a straight jump between each of the other skills. So, this was the only one where I felt I could bounce "high" and concentrate on my form as I wanted.

Now, go ahead and laugh at me, because if you look this up on youtube, the only people doing the level 1 routine are three year old toddlers in pull-ups. So, it's kind of pathetic that this is my comfort point, since those people just learned enough balance to even walk. Whatever.

The order of skills follows:

1. Tuck jump

2. Straight jump

3. Straddle jump

4. Straight jump

5. Half turn
6. Straight jump
7. Pike jump
8. Straight jump
9. Seat drop
10. Return to feet

I ran through this routine twice...

So then we moved onto level 2. From this point on, each routine had at least one "yech" moment - a linking of skills that didn't feel right. You also had to concentrate more to remember the order, because in level one, with that straight jump in between everything, it doesn't tax your memory much. You can see with this, I'm all over the bed. The order went:

1. Pike jump

2. Seat drop

3. Hands and knees drop

4. Front drop

5. Return to feet

6. Tuck jump

7. Jump half twist

8. Straddle jump pike

9. Seat Drop

10. Return to feet

So, one yech moment is from the seat drop to the hands and knees. You do it, and feel you'd almost prefer to go directly to the stomach.

And the second yech follows the tummy drop. You do it, and understand that it is more natural to have your chest down on the landing. Chest up, however, would allow a better to transition to the tuck jump that follows.

By the way, we learned about the tuck jump last week. The ideal position actually has the knees open slightly, though the toes are closed. Makes sense, right? - if you hit the bed with your knees together, and they rebound into your face, you can give yourself a shiner. I mean, I'm not sure if that is actually the logic, I probably should have asked, but didn't think of the question until the moment was over. But, I have definitely given myself a shiner this way on the trapeze net in the past.

So, here is my scattered rendition of level 2:

To be continued...

Coping with One Size Fits All

2012-01-20T05:53:00.000-08:00

The platform is set the way the platform is set. Unless it's your rig, it's unlikely to perfectly fit you, but you have to deal with it anyway. And that would be true for almost everyone who flies it, right? If a platform is set to one person's liking (most likely the rigger or the owner) then that is the only person it will really fit. Because I'm a believer that two people can both be, say 5'9", but can have very different "needs" for comfort on a platform, based on the length of their limbs.

I personally feel that I have never gotten a good take-off on the flying trapeze. But I've kind of surrendered my resistance to that. I just try to get the best take off I can, and regardless of happens, I commit to the rest of the trick and move on.

Now, I'm not saying that my take-offs are all bad, and they are certainly functional, I'm just saying that I have never once felt the way I imagine it could and should feel. I think for me, what it would really take for that to happen, is a sloped riser, that was higher in the front than the back - so that when I pushed through to a pointed toe against it, it would direct my body slightly backwards to encourage that good tension against the fly bar cables.

But again, back to my original point - no one's rig has a riser like that, and I have to fly on them like they are. So, I just wanted to put out some coping tactics. I am not here, trying to tell people what to do, or ever sound preachy! I think everyone knows that by now. I'm just sharing some things that have occasionally provided some help:

1. Changing the height placement of my hand on the a-frame. If I need to be able to put more slack in the back elbow to level the bar, this helps. (I hope what I mean by this is clear. Maybe I will clarify that in another post, using the back elbow for leveling - I feel like that would take drawings, and I'm on the train without paper right now.)

2. Changing the width of my legs. The wider they are, the better my balance/stability, but the "shorter" I become. As I'm sure everyone knows, it's the shorter people who suffer the most because of "one size fits all" platforms, as they just simply cannot get enough slack through their body to work the take off. So the leg width can help, it's a matter of dialing it in to the specific distance that works for the particular rig.

3. Assuming the same leg width - taking that "bracket of distance between the feet" - and shifting it left or right. This can allow for more slack in the back arm as well. The thing is, when I don't take off exactly centered, I know it can either twist me, and kind of result in a diagonal swing, or create a parallel swing that is slightly to the left or right of the bar. I've found some coping mechanisms for these circumstances.

Diagonal Swing - compensate with diagonal in the opposite directions movements, to equalize to center. Whether I'm to the left or right on the back end, I make sure I direct my toes exactly to the middle for the force-out. This feels like a more sideways movement when I am diagonal than when things are fine. When I come up into the back end, I really think about my abs and my belly button. I try to keep them strong and engaged and use my strength there to "pull" me back to center, really place that belly button where I want it. If things are really off, I'll stay on the bar for a few swings longer than usual, to temper the amplitude and make sure I get a safe landing at a good spot on the net.

Parallel, but uncentered Swing - Try to shift my hand that is further from it's end of the bar, at some weightless moment of the swing where I can move my grip. Usually getting an equal distance from each end will bring it back to center.

Obviously, neither of these situations is ideal, but reacting in these ways has sometimes help me do the best I can with what I've got.

4. Having someone hold the far end of the bar, or place a hand on my tummy. You know, it's seems in the last seven years or so, there has been this shift towards towards this attitude about taking off - you've just got to be independent. But having some help can really, well, help. And, you actually see this in alot of professional acts, I saw a few on youtube just the other day. Why deny the reality that the platform doesn't equally fit all people? Making adjustments to the fact that the particular board doesn't fit me does not mean I can't take off well. If the board fits, I can take off well (enough). The fact that I am willing to make life easier for the bigger person, by letting them have their perfect board dimensions, means the least they can do for me is hold the end of my fly bar! (As I see it! ; ) ).

5. Put up a riser. Speaking of "macho" attitudes, a few years back I had this catcher who was SO adverse to riser use, and would say that a flyer using one was trying to take the easy way out, to avoid working the swing. I am not in this school of thought on riser use. First of all, if the distance between the riser pegs on your a-frame is six inches, then all the riser does is make it equally possible for the 5'3" person to get a good start as the 5'9" person. (Kind of - because assuming relatively equal limb length, the 5'9" person would still have the absolute advantage).

And second, in my mind, it's pleasing when there is a certain symmetry between the trick and the swing. You don't need to do a jamming, panting, bent knee force-out, working the hell out of it swing, for a back end split. If you're throwing a triple, fine. But the whole point of a split is that it's elegant. Why distract from that? Take a riser, say no to the grunting "I'm the guy in the gold's gym t-shirt, now where is my gold chain?" persona, and float through your easy, tight, effortless swing! Just my opinion.

Anyway, I have found that when I try to make corrections to my take-off, it helps to inch at them, come at it subtly, in increments. Also, I try to stay REALLY open minded, and expect new sensations to feel wrong at first. Because I've found that when I've judged new movements too quickly in the past, they always seemed to come up again, from some different person, at some different rig, in the future.

And - this is the thing about fighting righteousness in myself. I'd love to believe that I know it all, when someone asks me a question that I have an immediate, perfect answer, and I am never wrong. But as I've softened with age, I kind of understand at this point - I don't have time to be stubborn anymore. I just want to be as good as I can right now. At 40, I'd rather be improving than right. (At 29, I didn't think I needed improvement, and boy did I hate being questioned).

Anyway, resisting the corrections of others, because they are uncomfortable, doesn't make the underlying movement problem go away. I can't expect a better result if I'm doing the same thing, I have to expect the same result. Every day I live, I come a day closer to my death, and when I'm dead I won't be able to pursue corrections in trapeze anymore. So, I HAVE TO DO IT NOW! I have to try earnestly to be open to change NOW, because improvement is change. I can't stay where I am and improve, that would merely be maintenance.

I just hope one day trapeze evolves to that platform I described in my "platform of my dreams" post, where you can push a little button and get the distance and tilt you need for each flyer, as you would for your seat in the car!

Okay. Since we are in awards season anyway, the nominees for the most perfect take-off category are: Wendy Reinert and Laura Valpey Rodriguez. These two have lift, zero hip angle, great tilt, and exquisitely pointed toes every time!

(He he he! But, we should really have five nominees before we give out a golden fly bar, no?? Any other suggestions? If you all want to do trapeze "oscars", I'm game and certainly willing to use this blog for polling! Any suggestions for categories? "Best new skill", "Best catcher", "Most improved", "best costumes"???)

Annddd....More fun!=)

2012-01-19T06:20:00.000-08:00

Trapeeps! Another super fun training night on the rig, I feel so happy. It's funny too, because these would be certain days of the month where I should have "chemical evidence" for being in a bad mood, if I was. So, thanks again, trapeze, for overpowering any potential negativity with your unrelenting awesomeness!

Mary Kelly came by, it is always a pleasure to see her.

I felt like I had movement in the right direction with both the double and star-full. (Please may I call it "starfull" and eveyone knows what I mean? "Full twisting shooting star" is just a mouthful!!) And, class moved really fast. I was able to fit in everything I would have wanted to do in a class. Except more conditioning at the end. But that has to do more with when the trains run than how fast we cycle turns.

Okay, so, I was trying to put the twist on the starfull a bit later. I didn't film the first one, my launching point, but after it Jesse took me by trampoline and did some full twisting craddles, showed me some different moments of movement initiation and how it affected his results. So I tried to come over the top a bit more and then put the twist on. I actually had a little moment where I saw the top of the cables of the catch trap, and then I cranked the spin. This was a lot of fun!

So, here it is:

Okay, so then I threw a few doubles. After the first one, Josh tells me to swing higher. Well, it was almost like, his words slipped through my brain and directly to my body. Because, I always try to work it for this skill, but I find a lot has to do with the quality of my take off and how the dowel positions on the bar. Anyway, that next double, I actually felt like I did the best swing of my life to date, before that next double. Ironically, I also felt like it was with very little effort, I was just floating around as if on autopilot. Just one of those swings where everything that has the potential to go wrong...doesn't!
I am really wishing at this point, that I had taped this off the tivo. But, for whatever reason, I didn't.

Anyway, the funny thing about it was that it was like my body knew I was higher. Then, without asking my brain's permission, it adjusted the depth of my tuck to make me end in the same place I always do, rather than just finishing higher. I had to roll my eyes!

Anyway, it's okay, I feel peaceful about it. After a few more, my energy even depleted a tinsy bit, so thank goodness Josh went up. His presence up there always revives me. So, we go to do the first one. I kind of observe as he goes into his lock that I am looking at the top of the tent, rather than watching his lock, and get irritated with myself. Then he says "hep". I jump. My belly button twists sideways and I get this wonky take off. But somehow I recover a bit by force-out time, and am pretty much back in the middle. So, we do the skill. Again, we have contact with both wrists. Predictably, I didn't open sufficiently, but Josh says, "It's getting there". So, I feel happy. Here's that one:

Then we have our other go. I am feeling good and really trying to leave that bar back as I drive the legs up. Now I am in the tuck and I am really trying to be mindful to not let the angle between my thighs and stomach open. I think my tucks are kind of always more open than average, but for me, I did relatively okay. Josh calls me out and again we have contact with both wrists. Again, I don't open sufficiently with the legs, and the force that creates pulls me through, and I take away our ability to hold onto it. However, I did feel that we floated a few inches further through the pendulum together than we ever have yet. Soo - Yay!

Humidity, Electric and Other topics..

2012-01-18T05:53:00.000-08:00

On Humidity

Even though I have been training and talking trapeze since 1996, I still learn new information all the time. The other day I was feeling slippery about my grip on the bar. My first instinct was to blame myself for over gripping. My second was to wire brush my grips. Josh said that it could also have to do with levels of dryness/humidity in the air. I had no idea! I feel naive saying so, but it truly never occurred to me.

Anyway, then, a few days later, I went in, and flew in a regular class. Outside of the intermediate class, they use a tape bar. Just the sight of a tape bar (rather than gauze or wick) sets my internal panic alarm blinking. I'm worried, flying from a more cautious place. Well, on this day, there was tons of humidity, it rained. And despite the tape, my grip felt great. Granted, I also didn't do anything advanced, or anything off a high riser. But, I threw a bunch of layouts with left-handed take-offs, and I still felt great. So - live and learn!

On Electric
This all reminded me of when I used to fly at Circus Center in San Francisco. If you walked across the net, then touched the ladder, you would always get a shock. I can't remember why I didn't just roll out...

On the Great Tip Tiffany gave me...
In "new to me" news, Tiffany shared the following website with me:

http://www.trapezing-online.com/

This website seems to be all technique articles related to trapeze, and I look forward to reading each and every one! I really love talking/thinking the technical aspects of the movements we do. I'm particularly interested in adaptations to techniques for different body types, and the physics of what works. So I hope to both write and read lots about that in the future!!

My 64 Ounces of Water Resolution
Well, two weeks into the year, I wanted to pause and say how much I am enjoying this New Year's Resolution. My lips are never chapped, and I feel great all the time, from drinking all this water. This was the right choice!!

Lucky Me
Somehow, no ticket on my car last night! Ohhh yeah!

On non-circus oddities...
Look who was strolling 34th street again yesterday... He he he... Still so curious to me, to walk around holding a head...

I wonder if on some level she enjoys the shock value of it all. You know, I once read this article - it described this sociological experiment the writer conducted. This woman walked around Manhattan wearing three different statement t-shirts, noting people's reactions, for the purpose of writing about them. I honestly don't remember two of the shirts, but the one I remember said, "I look better naked". I imagine that made for an interesting day.

2012-01-17T04:35:00.000-08:00

Sunday night was quite chilly in the tent, we truly are drudging through the cruelest part of the year right now. One option we have between turns, in this class, is to bounce trampoline. So I decided to do it - not just to try to keep warm - but also, I was curious after my lesson on Friday. I wanted to have a go at the interior of that level 5 routine.

So basically, I know I have to finish learning that pullover, and I have to work on connecting a tuck jump to a front tuck with Casey. So - those are the most difficult skills in the routine.

But - those skills in the middle, I can do them all. So I wanted to try to sequence them. So the order, again, is:

Straddle jump
stomach drop
seat drop
half turn to feet
pike jump
jump half turn
tuck jump

So, easy, right??

Here is what I learned. Not easy, because to have enough "steam" to make it to the end, you need to be an aggressoid at the beginning. Well, I do not have the personality/confidence to be an aggressoid going into stomach drops. Again, it's one of those things where I can technically do them, but I am in no way inclined to do them, or find it logical to do them. I derive no enjoyment from doing them. It's just, in my mind, seems like a really good way to tweak your back. Since I would prefer to not tweak my back, I therefore deem stomach drops undesirable.

However, sometimes you have no choice but to do them, because you have to pass some test. So I do them. But it's not really my thing to try to jump five feet off the trampoline bed and then do it. Because I suppose I feel the potential for injury is present enough without unnecessarily augmenting it. So my particular inclination would be to barely pre-bounce, maybe have an inch between the bottom of my pointed toe and the bed, if I couldn't just do it from a stand.

Well, that won't cut it for the routine. The thing is, all those other skills, I could probably do with almost no bounce, but the seat drop half, I really need some kind of juice to have the time in the air to do that, because it's kind of like a doubled up skill (two skills in one rebound). Because the stomach drop precedes it, it's got to come from that.

But, before that is the straddle. So, it's not just that you have to force yourself to do an aggressive stomach drop. It's that you have to do an aggressive stomach drop from a jump that isn't a straight jump.

Uncomfortable.

Which - hey - I'm sure that's the point. That is not lost on me. There's a reason this is the level 5 routine and not the level 1 routine. The level 1 routine has straight bounces between all the other skills.

And is this deathly, dangerously difficult? Well, no. Just uncomfortable. One of those things, kind of like parallel parking. Oh geez - if I have to do it, I have to do it. Sometimes you are driving a mustang, a standard, in hilly San Francisco, and the only way to get a spot is by parallel parking. That doesn't mean the start time of your class at Circus Center is going to wait for you, while you work out the issues of your life. Do the park.

But - if I can avoid doing it by walking three blocks, and I do have the time, I'll walk the three blocks. Why suffer? Why bring on unnecessary anxiety? Why not get the exercise?

But, if I have to walk five blocks, now we're getting into grey area again... There is going to be suffering and anxiety anyway, unless I'm REALLY early. So might as well get to it, to get to the end of it.

Anyway, speaking of bad parking situations, here is a contribution for my "atrocities of mass transit" "side column". Have a look at the one daily commuter parking space that was available when I came to the train this morning:

So first of all, the spots are laid out horribly - they should clearly be on a diagonal, and for whatever reason, this choice was made instead. Second, both of these drivers have "I'm the only person in the world, and I don't care how my actions affect others" syndrome. Having said that, the lot is really narrow. They both did a horrible job, but I have to say, it's not an easy job to do.

I passed on this spot, and went to permit parking, where I will likely come home to a $25 ticket on my vehicle this evening. But you know what, it's like I was saying about stress above. These are life's sliding scales, trying to balance the inconvenience with the price of convenience. I'd rather pay the $25 ticket in this situation - it seems like the lesser of the two evils.

2012-01-16T05:52:00.000-08:00

So hooray! I finally found my computer cable. Ironically, it was by trying to "put it away" that I lost it on myself. This is the case for having deliberate, defined places for things. And knowing what those are.

So, anyway, I have been video editing this whole commute, and I put the double on last Wednesday's training. Now, here is the full twisting shooting star...

And, here are the doubles from last night:

So the last one there, I didn't have my dowel in the right place and felt no confidence to kick back on either my sweeps or break. I was just trying to do the best with what I had. But the prior three, the two from Wednesday, and the first one here, we have connection on both wrists. And I didn't stop the trick, so I didn't give us a real shot.

2012-01-15T18:17:00.000-08:00

Ski season is hard on me, it makes it extremely difficult to have good balance in my life. It guarantees that I will spend at least two hours of every day of the week changing the location of my body. It makes it difficult to address life's ordinary tasks, like putting laundry away. Or finding the camera cable to be able to upload video on your blog.

So, I am sorry to be so lame this weekend, that I couldn't write more, and better. I hope to either find this cord tonight or replace it tomorrow so I can get some video up. But no major news anyway!

The trampoline plan...=)

2012-01-14T03:00:00.000-08:00

Matt is out of town, so I went to trampoline class with Casey again tonight. Again this was a lot of fun. It’s nice to have a new(ish!), but complimentary, pursuit to enjoy.

My thing with trampoline is, I can do the basics, I just don’t always do them perfectly. Until I learned the little trick about controlling your urge to pee, I never liked bouncing. Once I learned it, I thought I could start to actually like it, and I was enjoying studying with Jason until he left for Cirque. So I’m kind of picking up with Casey somewhere around where I was then.

I never do net tricks, I just bounce on my back and then sit. It’s not so much that I am incapable of them, but more like, I usually need all my mental attention focused on what happens prior to the landing, and net tricks were never much of a thrill for me, or anything I particularly enjoyed. I would really have to concentrate on it to do them. So maybe I eventually will. I told Rich Riggins the next time he comes to Mary Kelly’s, I will have something better to do than a seat drop, so I have to try to make good on that!

So, after two classes working with Casey and sort of taking inventory, she shared the following learning plan with me tonight:

· Check in with some back tucks next week (we haven’t gone there yet).

· Get to consistent “ownership” of front ¾ (I am tending to tuck my head and drop my chest, so I end up sitting instead of a back drop),

· Get to consistent “ownership” of pullover, which we started working on tonight. So basically you do a back drop, then go backwards over the top to your feet. I’m just not sure if you are allowed to touch your hands on the trampoline as you go backwards, which I did. I wasn’t sure if that was a learning progression, or part of the actual skill.

· Work on tuck jump directly into front tuck, and then

· Put it together in the level 5 routine.

So, here is how the routine goes:

Pullover

Straddle jump

Stomach drop

Seat drop

Half turn to feet

Pike jump

Half turn

Tuck jump

Front tuck

Y
ou can’t stop between skills or take extra bounces, and you have to stop yourself with one bounce at the end. So it’s not so much than any of the skills are deathly difficult, it’s more about maintaining control and high quality landings throughout, to be able to proceed to the next skill in an organized way. And of course, you have to memorize it!

Casey said she is talking to some of her connections and maybe one day our class will do a meet. The most horrifying part of that, to me, is the thought of putting on a (long sleeve – ugh) leotard without fishnets again. But anyway, I suppose we can cross that bridge when we come to it, if we do!

Fun Training

2012-01-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Ahhh! Had lots of fun at trapeze on Wednesday!

I just did my usual swing, layout, full (early release, ugh) warm up. Then I put the lines on for two doubles. I was trying to see if I could move the grabbing my legs from behind the thighs to front of the shins. So that was an interesting little study. I'd like to move in that direction but need more reps.

My new study, which I am completely embracing at this point, is a full twisting shooting star. I love this skill, but tend to over twist and under rotate. But, I haven't really worked it that much - so I really shouldn't even use the word "tend". Anyway, I'm enjoying having another skill on the radar.

Then I warmed up one out of lines double, and it was time for catching. I feel like we are making progress. In both attempts, we touched with both hands! But, I have got to come out better, or we'll never be able to hold on. Just thought I would mention that, in case anyone was confused about my feelings on the topic ; ) ;)...

I'll try to add video later (I can't find my camera cord).

Jan 16th update - K, here are the double vids...

Adrenaline and Human Growth Hormone

2012-01-12T04:43:00.000-08:00

I read a great little article in the September 2011 issue of Bazaar last night (yes, I'm a little behind!). The article was called "The Pressures of Staying Young," by Alex Kuczynski, and it talked about how she had this desire to go skiing in a bikini. Anyway, she explained that adrenaline pumping actitives (as this would be!) increase the body's secretion of human growth hormone, which helps keep the body toned and youthful.

Since I didn't know anything about it, I researched HGH this morning, and learned that teens produce 700 units of it a day, while adults produce 400. Well, teens look less wrinkled to me! I mean, it stands to reason that if the muscles that make your face are more toned, they would push harder against the skin from the inside out, and make the skin look smoother.

And, if you look at older people who fly trapeze, in my opinion, they look better than other people their age. I would definitely put trapeze in the adrenaline producing category. Personally, I never feel so vividly, alertly alive as when I stand on that platform, watching my catcher make a lock, in the tension of waiting for the hep. My whole week revolves around the four times I get to be in this situation - sometimes I feel like everything I do between those four locks is just waiting.

So - Yay adrenaline producing trapeze!!! You have rocked my world yet again. My love for you goes on and on...=)

Keep the Politics out of Trapeze!!

2012-01-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

While I have always loved a good party, I try to keep my distance from politics. I just cannot deal with the argumentative, angry, angst filled state to which it brings people. I feel like it's hard enough to go through life as a peaceful, content person when you are a commuter.  I'd just rather spend the precious moments of my life - that I will never have back once they are over - in a yoga class,  meditating, than at a political rally, screaming.

Now, I understand politics are important. I know politicians determine how the 30 percent of my salary that I don't get - but do commute to, work for, and sacrifice free time spent doing what I want for - will be spent. I understand people died to give me my right to vote, and I am not trying to minimize that. I just don't want to spend more time in that space than is necessary, because I want to be happy, not disputational.

Anyway, it REALLY, REALLY bothers me when people try to talk about the actions of politicians, and use circus references to describes those actions, in a negative way. It is so offensively disrespectful to the seriousness of what we do, as aerialists.

Today I opened my google reader, where I have an alert set for "flying trapeze." I am confronted with a link to an article in The Star Ledger - NJ - titled "Opinion: The GOP presidential circus heads east" - and the first sentence reads, "Now, we've headed east to New Hampshire for the next leg of the flying trapeze act." Oh - really??? Is that so? I beg to disagree...

Now, to the two great friends in my life who have been/are involved in politics, and have done/do trapeze - Terry and Greg - please know this is not aimed at you!  I adore you both.  My life would not be the same without your friendship. My gripe here is with the people who write these articles, and imply parallels between flying athletes and flinging insults. In my mind, the former sparkles at the highest end of human potential, achivement, and behaviour, while the later murks at the lowest.

And so I implore these authors - please do not obscure the purity of trapeze's beauty! You can do better. Ask yourself to be that elegant.  Find different words.

Furthermore, when I set an alert for flying trapeze in my google reader, I am actually interested in flying trapeze. I actually wasn't kidding. I really am not looking for a yo yo skill, static or swinging trapeze (though I love these too!), a rehabilitation device, a dress pattern, or circus themed condominiums being built in Germany. It's just a frustration of mine that things get this muddled... Sigh...

All right. Since my whole point here is talking about how peaceful I want to be, I will now stop writing and vacate this line of thinking...

Most Attractive Mail Day!

2012-01-10T05:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was delightful. I was already pretty inspired when I arrived home from trampoline class, because it was so much fun, and Casey was a GREAT teacher.

Then, on top of it all, my mail was awesome. Now, I know it is silly to take pictures of your mail, but I thought anyone interested in reading this blog in the first place would really enjoy this imagery! First, I had an Athleta catalogue with these great pages...

Then a Chasing Fireflies catalogue with this little enchanted flying creature...

And then my Dance Spirit Magazine. This has been coming to me for more than two years, and I have never subscribed to it, it's like this big mystery. I think that I purchased fishnets from Capezio for a gig once, and it started arriving right after that. A great value for a pair of fishnets!!

Then I went to sleep. I again had that recurring dream about arriving for my first day of college. So, I am now starting to think that is my subconscious reflecting on fresh starts. Because I am really hoping this can be the start of a new chapter of trampoline study, the lesson was awesome!

Heading into Practice - woo hooo!

2012-01-09T04:40:00.000-08:00

I have been house keeping all day - with the exception of watching a single episode of Breaking Bad - so I am really excited to be out and on my way to training right now. So excited, in fact, that I put on so much makeup, I look like I'm trying to dress a Kardasian for Halloween or something. But, I did kind of like the silver eyeshadow on the inside corner!!

Let's see what practice holds!

Hehehe..

So, now I am riding home. Practice was fun tonight. I think we came the closest we have yet, on trying to connect this double. This video doesn't show it quite as good as it felt, but we had both hands for a second. Normally I can only feel the right. Now, if only I would stop the rotation!

Trampoline class tomorrow, yay!=)

Creativity in the Air

2012-01-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

Flying trapeze is my first love, though I never met an aerial act I didn't like. One thing about the flying act though, it really seems to lag the others in terms of creativity. Of course, we've all tried to express ourselves by dressing as a pirates and theme-ing with music before. And now it is increasingly popular to see variations on traditional rigging which make the act fill more space, and add to the excitement. But the actual skills themselves, from fly bar to catcher, I feel like it's a bit predictable, stale.

Why is originality of movement valued so much more by the other aerial disciplines? Well, if you invent a new skill, there is no predetermined curriculum for learning it. I'm sure there are always more bruises and scratches along an uncharted course. It would be more likely to happen in a family act type situation, than a school situation.

Another part of it is probably that it takes so much effort to perfect what is already out there, and people covet existing skills so much, that there is little energy left with which to pursue creativity, especially when it's not particularly valued.

But I would like to just take this moment and say, thank you Tony Steele, for doing a double back return off the cutaway stick!

And, check out 1:38 to 1:44 from these clips from the "Gaonas Trapeze The Movie Part 2". I've watched it so many times, and it's a bit of a different angle, but I believe what we are seeing there is a one and a half twisting back flip to the cutaway stick! How cool is that??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_ghU0Q0Qsk

Monaco

2012-01-06T05:06:00.000-08:00

One of the items on my life's bucket list is to attend the Circus Festival in Monaco. Actually, I don't think I went as far as to physically write it down on that list, and I should probably do that. I last updated the list when I left Club Med, which is like nine years ago at this point. It had ten items, and I know I have done at least one of them to make room for this one.

Anyway, that last week of December, Matt was telling me, "I might have to go to Monaco for a client meeting the first week in January". I started freaking out, because I knew the festival was around that time, and I also knew that I still have my maiden name on my passport, so traveling internationally would be a problem for me right now. Well, it turns out that he returned yesterday, and the festival isn't until the 19th, so - crisis averted.

But, at least we can enjoy the photos of the posters he took...

2012 Vacation Thoughts and Other Babbling from My Brain

2012-01-05T05:10:00.000-08:00

Hello Trapeeps!

I made the silly mistake of leaving work without my phone yesterday. Therefore, I don't have video from last night's practice. So I just have to tell you in words.

First, I pulled on the theraband.

Then, I did a little warm up swing.

Then I did a layout. I am trying to work a more open hip angle to the net on this. I think I'm getting there, but consequently, it just looks over-rotated to me. I feel like I am pulling my upper body back/hands away from the catcher to maintain a straight angle in the hips and avoid piking down. I need to reflect on this and try to figure it out more.

Then I did a full. I think the form on my fulls to the net is getting cleaner, which I am happy about. I haven't thrown one to hands in ages though, and I really probably should.

Then I did a few doubles. I had some little improvements, some little un-improvements, focused on some different things in each one - getting off the bar, breaking as hard as I could. I had a few where I didn't love how my grip was on the bar but I just tried to stay with it.

Then, when I felt like I was doubled out, I just wanted to do something for fun. I decided to try a double twister. Jesse gave me great lines, and I really didn't lose height like you would expect when flying in lines - but I botched it by breaking way early.

Then Josh went up and I tried to throw him a double. There was pretty much silence after. I take this as - not even worth talking about.  My open was non-existent. When I saw this on the video, I was so frustrated. As I went up for the second one, I was just thinking, 'I just want to open. Even if we miss, I just want to finally open one, I do not want to go to that video and see closed hip angle again.'

Well, I went way long. It wasn't the break call, it was my release. I actually did open at least my hips, if not my knees, for the out, but I was two feet under him.  And I mean LITERALLY under him - because I moved that far forward being that early off the bar. This is one of the challenges I've been trying to figure out - how to incorporate a correction without forgetting everything else. It's like I feel like I can correct and change things, but only the thing I am focusing on.

So, then practice ended and I tried REALLY hard not to feel overcome with sadness as I went back to the office for my phone.

Anyway, a great thing did happen tonight.  That is, I think we have finally nailed down a trampoline time with Casey, to do a class next Monday. Emma and I have been trying to get this on the schedule for weeks.  Honestly, I am not exaggerating if I say I think we must have tried seven times to get this going. So I am totally looking forward to that. I would be super excited to get a little regular trampoline practice going to supplement my flying training.

I have also been reminiscing a lot about being a student in high school science class lately.  I think it's because I have been watching all those Breaking Bad episodes (Walt teaches chemistry in them). I remember these temperature scales, Fahrenheit, Celsius, and Kelvin. And that as it gets colder, molecules have less motion, and at zero degrees Kelvin, it's when molecular movement comes to a complete stop.

I kind of have that cold, winter feeling in my body right now.  Yesterday morning was 13 F in NY. With the windchill, it was 1, as we waited 21 minutes for the delayed NJ train, on the platform, deeply entrenched in the total brutality of winter.

I feel my energy is low - my molecules are slowing down. Trapeeps, there are few things I wouldn't do for a tan right now. Honestly, I know evolved people don't covet behaviours that give them cancer, and I wish so hard to be an evolved person.  So, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit this, but, I'm going to anyway. I want to be on a beach, in scorching 90s weather, digging my toes into the sand, in a yellow bikini, without sunscreen, NOW! I really, really do. I honestly think that if my skin were any paler at the moment, it would be see through. Actually, it kind of is.

That of course brings images of vacation to mind, and really, it's a great time of year to think about that, because you have to plot it out over time. So I have fifteen and half days this year. Right now I'm thinking something like this:

Feb or March - some days on a rig in the sun

April - Matt wants to go skiing in Colorado to this Master's Academy thing. He said we can go together.  He basically will use the remainder of his time for other skiing things he wants to/has to do, so I believe this will be my one chance to share any vacation with him.

June - visit my brother and his family, and go see the Olympic Trials for gymnastics in San Jose. I also had the idea of kind of crawling out there and back with a few trapeze stops along the way, I would love to check out the rigs in Denver, Vegas and Phoenix, for example. Perhaps some on the way out, and some on the way back. I would be SO EXCITED for this plan.

September. Oh Trapeeps - this is a big one. I am nervous about this already, but I think I want to rise to this challenge. I want to attend the PSIA freestyle skiing event in Lake Placid, NY. This is an event they hold every year at the Olympic training facility.

I should say that I currently do zero freestyle, even though our home mountain of Big Boulder is very geared towards it. Honestly, I'm just trying to work on stuff right now like twisting my femurs without twisting my pelvis. And having greater control over the amount of edge angle I use (because I kind of have this tendency to always try to carve, but you can't do that in every situation, for example, ice. I'm pretty sure for ice you need to use a flatter ski and control your speed by turning your feet so much that your skis are actually pointing uphill, even though you are looking downhill).  And maintaining a perpendicular line through my toes, knees, and shoulders, in relation to the fall line, even in double fall line situations.

So, these are things that would involve skiing into and away from a jump, rather than actually jumping. They do not push the freestyle education at all in our training program. But, I have done some teeny jumps a few times. I mean, really teeny. But I have to say, on the ones I successfully landed, I had the immediate feeling that jumping on skis is exactly tantamount to falling in love. EXACTLY that exhilarating. It lifts your heart and makes you feel like a little kid. So, I'm definitely cautiously interested.

Anyway, this clinic, I'm not really at the right level to get in. You can be a beginner to jumping, but they want you to be a level 2 instructor, and I am level 1. However, you can plead your case and request consideration. So the last time I needed educational credits, I actually pursued it.  I sent flying videos, and put together some words with the logic that while I am a totally mediocre skier, I have some experience handling myself in the air. Well, this worked, and I was granted permission! But then I chickened out and never signed up. So, hopefully I can get it again, because I don't think I will ever even test for level 2.

I've been talking to my friends in PSIA about it, and what they tell me is the whole thing is geared towards trying to ready people, by the end of the three day course, to slide down this huge ramp and jump into a pool. I can only imagine the terror I would be feeling before this. And after - because exactly how does one swim with (wet) skis and boots on? You also have to have old equipment that you would be willing to put through this. But I think I may still have some old straight skis and rear entry boots at my Dad's house, from like, the 80s. LOL. So, I need to check it out, as well as continue to learn about this event, and try to get my courage up!!=)

Okay. Two more things. First, I have been all "trapeeps, trapeeps, trapeeps" today. Well, it's not fair. I actually have three non-trapeze readers (that I know about). And so, I just want to say to Kelly Ann, Clare, and Christopher - that you all take the time to come on here, and muddle through the shop talk - it means the world to me. Thank you! I love you guys.

Second, I like to include a visual. Since I don't have a trapeze one tonight, I would like to share my inner gardener geek again.  Great news - our bird of paradise plant is blooming!! Now, I really can't take credit for this - it's truly Matt's plant. I water it occasionally, that's it. Matt has had this plant for 15 years. He brought it home from Hawaii as a souvenier after competing in Ironman Kona. But I delight in it too.

I thought my real bird, Beauty, might be jealous that there were other "birds" in the house, but she just tried to perch on them. Then, when she saw that wasn't going to work, she just posed with them. I think she likes this plant too!

The Mystery is Solved!

2012-01-04T04:54:00.000-08:00

My brother Chris called yesterday, and told me the wonderful Naval Gymnastics book is from him! He NAILED it this year. I love this book. Let's take another look at how awesome it is!

Turn and Face the change...

2012-01-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

I finally arrived home and started getting the home back to normal after the holidays. In sorting through some papers, I came across this article from December 29th, which mentions a new Circus Arts course at Bloomfield College. Of course, my first instinct whenever I see these is to hope for a local training situation that would provide me densely satisfying local training. Then I remember that I am not a student in college anymore, and that what it would take to make me feel I was doing worthwhile training is so specific, it would be hard for any general program to include it.

The article actually was more about a general change in college education, and how schools are trying to compete with each other by offering "quirky" courses. (There's that word again!) One of the courses it mentioned was actually called "Gender, Sexuality, and Music of the 80s". He, he. It's enough to make one consider going back to school! But anyway, its point was to say that some of these courses are too easy, at a time when international education is getting harder. That an American education may not continue to compete.

Well, I guess I'm glad that doesn't have to be my personal issue today. I have to say though, that I am offended if they are going to call a circus arts class "easy" - the author obviously did not try the class. Perhaps a better way to express the point would have been "irrelevant to the average employee's working life" - but of course, that would not have held true in my life, or the life of most people I know.

There is so, so much more accessibility to the circus arts that there was in the year 2000 (when I made the choice to leave my role as a Private Banker at The Bank of New York, to become a Circus G.O. at Club Med). When I really consider it, the timing around how the industry has developed truly shaped my life. If I was 29 today, instead of in 1999, perhaps I would have never left my corporate job for trapeze. I wouldn't have had to leave, I could have gotten my trapeze fix right here. It's so interesting to consider an alternate reality, though of course, it's all conjecture. I'm glad I was born in the particular year I was. Working for Club Med had some extreme highs and lows - but I am glad my life contained that experience. I will also probably never be that tan again, so at least I have pictures to prove that at one point, it did happen.

And - having made this point about increased accessibility - yes and no, actually. While there are a gluttony of classes, try looking for a trampoline class at 6 pm, or a flying trapeze class at 6 pm with an out of lines catcher that has experience catching skills above the layout level - it's still hard to find. It's not like you can find and do that four days a week.

Anyway, since I'm reflecting on what's changed and what's stayed the same for aerial in NYC over the last decade, this seems like a good opportunity to write about the work of Steven Santos. I have been contemplating and wanting to write about this over the last few weeks. He has been working so hard, for so long, to improve the insurance situation for circus schools. I know because it was probably five years ago when I first spoke with him about his efforts, and told him I was working on a duo lyra act that I was really excited about. My lyra partner and I were trying to approach it from the perspective of - "what opportunities does this apparatus provide that would not be provided by double trapeze?". So we were trying to develop new material in our "circus vocabularies".

Steven at that time asked if I would write some of it up, add to the collection of shared knowledge. He said this would help him get the industry standardized, and that was one of the things that would need to happen for him to negotiate more affordable insurance premiums. I never did it for him, and I have had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, I was more interested in doing the work than writing about the work. Perhaps if we had the dialogue today, now that I have developed a love for creating written pieces, and have the commuting time to do it, things would have been different.

But, on the other hand, I think I was sort of coming from a territorial place. We were trying to develop unique, original material, and we wanted it to stay special and unique. (Duo lyra is common now, but at the time, I think it was less so - there were a handful of acts, but it was way outshadowed by double trapeze). Anyway, I was coming from that place of fear, that your choreography will be stolen. We were working so hard, and I think at that time, it would have been emotionally devastating to go on someone's Myspace (because this was prior to Facebook really taking off), and see video of them performing some of the combinations from our imagination, in some nightclub somewhere.

Of course, the real truth of the matter is that no one owns movement, even if you were the "first" to think of something. But, on the other hand - look at Bikram yoga. Somehow a patent? trademark? was giving to this method. I'm not sure which, but I know Bikram will sue anyone who teaches his class under another name. Somehow, he was able to position himself to have "ownership" of movements that are 3,000 years old.

So, while an aerialist may realize that a territorial attitude comes from a belief in scarcity and distrust, on the other hand, there is some foundation for that fear. Is an attitude of abundance naive in a way?

I'm really jumping from topic to topic today - and I don't really want to put disorganized thinking up here. But - I do want to make one important point. That is, Steven Santos is asking for input to the process, trying to organize conference calls to give anyone interested and concerned for the future of aerial study a voice. I think that is extremely cool, and I want to encourage people to get involved. If it matters to you, let him hear what you think, because he doesn't have to make a choice to ask, and he is.

I've mentioned before that I am a member of PSIA, the ski instructor's association. So, I've kind of seen this example, as well as PADI, (the scuba instructors association) in the Club Med days, of how these things evolve. Now, I don't think Steven is actually creating an organization so much as standards, though to be honest, I haven't talked to him recently, so I'm not sure. But, with the PSIA example - you have this organization, and it has members, and examiners, and administrative staff. The members have to test in, and are evaluated by the examiners. If they pass, (which at the entry level the examiners try to do, because a person who fails is a person PSIA does not continually collect money from), you pay $110 in dues every year. Every other year, you are required to do continuing education days that amount to two days of study. The courses themselves probably run you $200, plus, you have to get to the mountain where they are held, get yourself lodging, etc.

For those of us that come from gymnastics, this whole concept of being examined may be a turn off. Your whole point for leaving gymnastics for aerial may have been the increased freedom, less stringent rules telling you what to do. You don't need some stern women, in a navy suit, with a Nancy Reagan hair style, assigning a numerical value to you anymore. You want to do the skills because you prefer them and they look good on you, not because you are trying to maximize your value according to some code of points.

Now, I have learned so much from PSIA, and I really like the organization. But, as an industry moves towards standardization, there is an element of personal freedom in your teaching that is sacrificed. You are no longer an independent instructor, creatively trying to teach in any way you think might work, limited only by your imagination. Now there are more rules. I'm not trying to say that is good, or bad. For a young industry, where a lot of people are trying to get involved, perhaps not all of which have a truly in depth understanding of teaching or the physics of trapeze, or rigging - standardization is great. It can save lives, as well as frustration. So I'm not judging. I'm just reflecting on some changes out there, where they might lead, and saying I think it is really cool that Steven is asking people to get involved. He is saying, "have a voice, we want to hear what you think". And, he is saying that he doesn't want these developments to limit an instructor's creativitiy.

All right - I am about to hit my little "publish post" here, but have a nervous feeling, like I should say one more thing. My intention with this blog is to be a positive voice in aerial, as I pursue and chronicle my personal flying improvement. My intention is not to hurt anyone's feelings, make anyone feel like I took anything out of context, judge, make anyone who values their privacy feel "exposed", or to put any negativity out there. I know what I am talking about here today, the change in the industry, it's a bit of a hot topic. I am just trying to reflect here, and advocate involvement. So I just wanted to say that I hope it comes across that way.

A Spider's work...

2012-01-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

I thought this creation of a spider at our ski rental house was just lovely, with the light streaming through it.

Imagine if we could just spontaneously create our own rigging to suspend from, at a moment's notice!?

Trapeze Ideas from the Ski Lift

2012-01-01T08:16:00.000-08:00

I always do very clear thinking on a ski lift. I don't know what it is about them, but I like it up there. Maybe it's the adrenaline surge you get from being at height, and maybe that's also why I like trapeze.

Can't you just imagine an aerial act with a ski lift as the apparatus? Lots of bars to hold, and even a real seat!

Anyway, when I was 23, my family took a trip out to Aspen with my best friend and her family. The lift rides in Colorado are particularly majestic; the scenery takes your breath away.  During one of those rides, I had a little epiphany, and decided I was going to change jobs. That was my first career choice like that in life - but I knew I was under paid in my current job, and I could do better in the city. So, I did!

Like clockwork, my first day on the lift for this little trip, and I started having tons of ideas.  Cross training can be so good for the creativity, the brain - it can make your study of sport feel so fresh and new! So, this idea - some will find it silly and unnecessary, I surrender to that. But I'm just curious, I think for me, with my particular issues sorting out the double's open, it could really be helpful.

I thought of a suspended Elmo.  Let me provide some background -when I trained trampoline in San Francisco, I would sometimes put an Elmo doll at the end of the trampoline. I had him tummy up, arms stretched towards the trampoline's center, and I would spot him as my catcher.  Furthering my dorkiness, I would bounce holding the cardboard tube from the inside of a paper towel roll, to symbolize the fly bar. (I was training the double twisting layout.) So I would bounce, and as I was coming up, I would try to bonk my biceps on my ears, and then let go of the paper towel tube.  This was my little tactic for trying to simulate open shoulder angle off the bar. Then, I would try to do the twist, then spot the Elmo with my hands reached out to him. This was all in lines of course, and I thank Jim Donak for his patience with my nerdiness, and his always densely-learning filled trampoline lessons! Jim, please, move to New York, how I would love to study with you again!!

Okay, so back to the trapeze idea I had while riding the lift with Matt. I told him, "what if we had a little Elmo on a pulley from the top of the tent, that we could drop down to the place where Josh would be when the catch would occur?" And of course, in my vivid imagination, this is a talking Elmo, operated by a remote control. So the guys on the floor could press the button and Elmo could call the "Out!," or "Hep!" - or whatever we recorded into him.  Dallas rained a little coaching gem on me this Wednesday, that inspired this thought.  He reminded me that the call is not just about timing, it's also about location. Josh is using it to tell me where he is, so I can get my hands there. (The irony is, I rely heavily on Josh's voice for my twisting skills, so I don't know why I was forgetting that about for the double.) So, for this drill, you could actually tag Elmo on the open. Then, even though the catcher isn't there, you could train in a more realistic setting, and the catcher's body could be spared some locks.

Matt replied, "Why would you use an Elmo when you could use a blow up doll?"

Then I think he saw the amused distaste in my expression, because he followed up with, "You know, like a blow up Superman or something."

64 Ounces

2011-12-31T03:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I spent alot of time on the road, listening to the radio. One of the DJs was reporting on some study that was done concerning New Year's Resolutions. He claimed it found the people who worried about their resolutions more before the New Year even began were the people who were most likely to successfully keep them.

Well, I have been considering and considering for days now, whether or not to resolve, and if so, what to resolve. I didn't come up with anything better than what I mentioned in my post the other day, so I'm going with the 64 ounces resolution.

Now - I also mentioned that Matt and I have been watching lots of "Breaking Bad". I just love these characters, and their interplay, so much. One thing I find quite amusing is when Jesse is all, "We should just - insert Jesse's plan - ." And then Walt says, "Oh yeah, exactly how is that supposed to work? That guy is 280 pounds. How many bullets will it take to kill him? And how long before he bleeds out, and how many others are charging you during that time? And how many bullets does that gun even hold?..." Etc, Etc, Etc - pointing out the flaws in Jesse's plan that Jesse didn't think through.

Galit and I were even talking about this at the rig last night. You can't just say you're going to do it. You have to figure out how you are going to do it, or you will fail.

So, I need a plan.

Lizzy's planning process, Step 1 - Resolve
The resolution: consume at least 64 ounces of water or other non-caffinated, non-alcoholic (and any other dehydrating beverages - am I forgetting anything besides caffiene and alcohol that you drink and ironically end up dehydrated from?) a day.

Step 2 - Figure out potential obstacles to progress and their mitigants

Potential Obstacle 1: I spend alot of time changing the location of my body a day, like 4.5 hours. During this time, I really do not want to be in a position where I have to pee, as I just find public restrooms skanky and unsanitary.

Mitigant - Wake up at six AM, then take only as much water I can process and rid myself of by 6:55. (I need to leave for the train at 7). Don't take any more water until I get into work. Then, at work, try to get all water consumption finished by 4:30. I leave at 5:30, so that should give me enough time to get rid of what I'm not going to carry home.

Potential Obstacle 2 - concrete floors in the loft space I work in make it really embarassing to go pee, and I work in the furthest point from the restroom in the entire space. This means I have to click, click, click my heels across the echoey space while everyone else is working. Actually, now that I think of it - I will also have to click, click, click my heels to the water cooler to work the other side of this resolution, making it a doubly irritating resolution for my 26 co-workers.

Mitigant 1 - Try not to be so self conscious about what is a stupid thing. Everyone else in the space needs to move around during the day too, even if walking the path makes me feel like I am on a cat walk and everyone is looking at me.

Mitigant 2 - Remember the story I was told how in certain subcultures, people intentionally put tacks on their shoes to draw more attention to themselves, and make themselves seem sexier and more feminine. I really had to LOL when I was told this, but I guess some people find the sound of heels sexy. I could just freaking swing my hips and try to own it. Except that's really not me. So -

Mitigant 3 - just get some rubber soled flats and switch into them for the bathroom trips.

Potential Obstacle 3 - I might get lost in my work and forget, especially at the beginning when it is not a habit.

Mitigant suggested by Galit - set an alarm on the phone to keep myself on track through-out the day. (Good one Galit, thank you!)

Potential Obstacle 4 - I will procrastinate during the day, and then end up with alot of ounces left before going to bed. Then I will take them all at once to just not break the resolution, and in doing so, ruin my sleep, because I will have to wake up and pee all night. Then I will have under eye circles again, and my Mom will ask me again why I have a shiner. Then I will tell her I don't, I just don't get enough sleep because I'm always doing everything else all the time. Then she will load me up with all these vitamin K eye creams again, and make me break one of my other life's resolutions, to be a neat, clean, sleek person that doesn't have clutter.

(Breathe, breathe, breathe.   Everything is okay in my world).

Mitigant - All right. I think I just need to be done with all 64 ounces before 8:00 PM. That should work.

I could do it like this...

Time                               Consume                  Ounces Remaining
6 AM                                  8                                                     56
9 AM - 12 PM                     20                                                    36
12 PM - 4:30 PM                24                                                    12
6 PM - 8 PM                       12                                                   0

So, that's my plan, and of course I will allow myself to tweak it if I find it's not ideal.

Bring it on 2012!!
PS - apologies for the topic digression today. Of course though, hydration does support optimal trapeze performance, so in a way, it's a good thing!

2011-12-30T03:07:00.000-08:00

Hello Trapeeps!

Mystery Gifts
Well, I have to say, the mystery gift, sent to me from a "Cole" in Spokane that I don't know, has been delightful so far. It's a book published in 1944 about military use of gymnastics for conditioning, but so far I've just looked as deep as the first twenty pages, and there are lots of circus apparatus in there. For example...

So, I will share nuggets from this fabulous read as I work my way through it. I wonder if that is why "Cole" sent it to me, maybe he knew the book was charming, and that I might share from it here!

Double Back Out of Lines Catch Pursuit
Here is the better of last night's double attempts...

Josh said this one spun faster than they usually do, and that is progress that I should feel happy about. So, I do, the only thing is, I'm trying to figure out why, or what I did differently, and I'm a bit stumped. So I'm worried about my ability to call on the change to repeat it. Honestly, I just think that I was excited to be on the rise and see him up there again. I get a little adrenaline kick when he is up. And then, after I find myself in the buried under the clams, my spirit sinks, because I honestly, standing on the riser, I thought, "this is the one, we are going to catch it". Even, the fact that Disco Inferno happened to be playing, it was like, I was thinking about Bernie Williams, and how they would always play that when he came to the plate, and how he is one of my favorite Yankees. How when he won the batting title the crowd was demanding a curtain call and he came out in the robe from the showers. LOL. I mean, my head really was in a place of sports success.

I worked hard on the opens, and managed this moment. I know this out was early creating the wrong body angle in relation to the catcher, but I was happy to at least achieve this angle through my hips:

Well, so anyway, it looks like my double catch will have to wait until 2012. Geez, I hope it's 2012. If this is going to continue near into 2013, I may just have to acquiesce to failing this tenacity test and moving on. Speaking of which, I decided to use some of last night's training time in pursuit of some of those twisting skills I put on that list a few months back. It was easier to do last night than usual, because I didn't have to work, so I didn't have to carry my twisting belt around the city to use it. (They have twisting belts at the school, but it's just hard because pretty much all of us need them at the same time, and there is no way to train in a twister without inconveniencing others). So, that was fun, and I was happy to enjoy some feeling of progress in my training. Sometimes it's more fun to be at the earlier part of a skill's training curve, where change is easier.

Speaking of an Early Place on the Learning Curve
I now head into several days of skiing training to close out the year. While this is something I do more to spend time with my husband and friends at the mountain, than a passion for skiing, it is good to be in training, period. And, because I am such a mediocre skier, I'm hoping to get back to that place of momentum, where making changes is easier because your habits aren't SOO established. To build strength in the feeling that I am an athlete in a continous place of improvement, get a bit of lower body conditioning, shake things up a bit, and start 2012 in a great mind set!

To the person who sent me the mystery gift from Spokane...

2011-12-28T20:37:00.000-08:00

Wow! Thank you! I love it!

And YES I am very curious who you are!

Star Wars and Mannequin Heads

2011-12-28T07:30:00.000-08:00

So yesterday this act popped into my google reader. I have to say, it is fun to see what is going on in China, kind of a fresh act for me to see.

Then of course, the unevolved part of me looks at the little girl in here catch her double, and I'm like ,"she can do it, why can't I do it? Am I a worse flyer?" I know, I know comparing yourself to others is the fast track to misery. I know it's not classy, and I want to be classy. I know it's ego driven, coming for a mind set of desperation and scarcity, and I want to be compassionate and coming from a place of logic. Generally speaking, I REALLY try hard not to go down that road. But,today we are going into the last training day of the year. If it adds some fuel on my internal fire as I go into tonight, GREAT! I'm going to mindfully give myself permission to be okay with that, this time. : )

I have to say, I liked their adjustable riser thing, that was pretty cool.

Also, when that little girl did the double front down from the top catcher, that was pretty awesome also.

I also liked their costumes, on them, and against this background.

Behavioral Choices on Mass Transit
Okay, onto another topic. I am trying to figure out how to make my little "Behavioural Choices on Mass Transit" project a sidebar column, but I don't know how yet, so please just accept the woman below as entry number 2:

I see this woman all the time, her commute takes the same trains as I do. She always carries this mannequin head, and she never has it in a bag conceled or anything, she always carries it like this.

Now, I am not much of a morning person, not too quick or sharp in the AM. And I have to say, there have been a few times where I have turned a corner and quickly spotted her, where I am sure my eyes almost popped out of my head, because it actually looks like she is holding a human head. (It has a face on the other side that I wasn't able to capture in these pictures). Anyway, she probably is going to hair styling school or something. But geez, I hope someone got her a bowling ball bag for Christmas!

One more training day in the year

2011-12-27T08:29:00.000-08:00

I might be able to fly again after tomorrow night, but not in a situation where I could fly across, out of lines.

I have to laugh, but the last class I flew in 2004, when it transitioned to 2005, I was throwing doubles. This was in lines, when I was training at the San Francisco school, which I did for the entire year of 2004. So, I had caught about six or seven of them with our usual catcher, Jennings. And on this night, he wasn't there, and this other catcher Jack went up.

So I was contemplating whether I should fly something else to him, since I didn't know him as well, or try for the double, since we were on a bit of a roll. I figured we were in lines, (they have the V lines there), why not just try? So I did, and we caught it. And I remember feeling so happy, like that was such a great way to ring in the New Year. Plus, at the time, he was only the third catcher I had successfully caught that trick with, so I felt really good about that too. Hard to believe it's seven years later.

Anyway, I hope to repeat this on our first try tomorrow. I hope in that second in the air when Josh calls me, I can just find it in myself to do what it takes. Come out in such a way to really give him a chance at it. And if it doesn't work, I am almost contemplating a nice easy layout for the second time, something neat and clean, to end the year's training on a successful note. Only, I know myself. Though that makes sense, I know I'm going to want to try that double again if we don't get the first one!

Breaking Bad

2011-12-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

I know my title implies that I'm about to delve into bent knees, head down, legs apart, wrong timing, & too shallow - mistakes that can actually make your break bad. But today I'm actually thinking about quirkiness.

A quick google search first yields:
Definition "quirkiness" (Free Online Dictionary): A peculiarity of behavior, an idiosyncrasy

Hmmm. Does that have a negative connotation? I feel judgment in those words, so I dig deeper...

Definition "peculiarity" (Free Online Dictionary): A notable or distinctive characteristic

Okay! That's better.

And now, one more dictionary entry for us to all enjoy, here is the Urban Dictionary's Definition of Quirkiness: 1. quirky. something that is strange/not normal but cool. Wearing long stripy socks ...

So, now I really have to laugh, as nine out of ten trapeze people I know, myself included, wear long stripy socks. Perhaps it's a bit of a cultural thing. (Granted, Sil and I are performing as witches on a broomstick here, so this was more of a character driven choice, but I am sure everyone can vouch for the fact that you go the rig on any given day, and you see striped socks!!)

So, everyone's flying has quirks. I recently noticed, as I watch through the videos, that I'm driving one leg up into my force out ahead of the other. What's up with that? I'm not sure where it is coming from. But I think the underlying important thing is that my force out is functional enough to get the job done, so who cares? Truth be told, I don't like it, because I think it would tend to create sideways movement. Plus, when viewed from the side, it makes my body look wider since visually the legs cover more space when staggered. So, I'd like to work it out. But, I understand too, that in the grand scheme of things, it's of minor importance.

Not all quirks are flaws. A quirk can have to do with a movement pattern a person uses climbing up to the riser even, or accepting a served bar.

So, I'm actually inspired today by the series "Breaking Bad", and quirks that are good.

I don't know if anyone else watches this, but Matt caught on sometime after baseball ended. There is a certain despair in our living space that envelopes us at the end of a Yankees season. Though we don't always watch the game actively, we always have it on. There is always that potential for a burst of excitement coming from the game. And, when we are not watching it, we are listening to John and Susan talk about it. And when the season ends, there is just this perpetual silence, this lack of potential for excitement. I don't know, there is just something about Yankee baseball...

Anyway, in years past, when the Yankees were winding down, at least you had "Mad Men" to look forward to. But, there was no "Mad Men" this year. And we've already seen every "House". And so Matt found "Breaking Bad".

He entered at season four, so yesterday, for Christmas, I gave him seasons 1, 2, and 3, so he could fill in. I watched a bit with him last night, and all I can say is wow. The characters, the story, the acting. It is so intense, and at the end of each episode, you salivate insatiably for the next one. Somehow, they make you feel for these characters, despite the fact that in real life, the characters would be bad guys - they make choices most would consider unethical. In my mind, it's brilliant writing.

I watch and I ponder the unlimitedness of human creativity. I don't know the first thing about writing a television series, but my mind spins at how many people must have to work together to make something like this happen, and what an intricate piece of art this work is. I wonder how far in advance they know the story. How do they do it? Well, I may not learn the answer to that question, but I am certainly thankful that they do it, that I can be so absorbed in something while I watch.

One strategy they certainly use, is they giving these characters quirks. This one guy, Gustavo, is just always adjusting his tie, or his collar. Always moving his hands around his neck and chest. You come to love it about him. It makes you crave the character more. It's just part of his soft spoken, evil, intelligence, but you love and hate him at the same time.

And so, bringing it home, back to flying. I think a quirk can be an essential element of style. An attribute that we associate with a particular flyer, that makes us enjoy watching them, is a perk that works!

My Trapeze Christmas List

2011-12-25T08:27:00.000-08:00

Isn't it funny that as we undertake our pursuits as athletes, we realize the things we most enjoy having cannot be given to us? I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, or happy other holiday of your observation. And I hope we will all be able to earn the things we yearn for in the coming year, and with them the:

- Ability to figure out the right things to pursue
- Lack of injuries to allow us to pursue them
- Success at our efforts
- Productive responses to setbacks
- Ability to see the path from where we are to where we want to be
- Bravery / tenacity / conviction to travel that path
- Best of friends through the journey
- Unrelenting passion, and a remembrance always of why we pursue trapeze in the first place

This is my trapeze Christmas list!

And while no one can wrap our " - insert desired skill - catch" up for us with a bow, I do hope we get some sparkling new gear and a big fat class card, etc!

You know you are a circus girl when...

2011-12-24T07:04:00.000-08:00

You start your new pen and think, "Oh look. My new pen is wearing a clown nose."

On Resolving

2011-12-23T05:19:00.000-08:00

New Year's Resolutions kind of scare me. I find either I break them and feel like a failure, or keep them and suffer all year (because I will likely choose some resolution that I need something as a strong as a resolution to make me do. Which probably means that I don't truly WANT to do it - it's more like I want to have done it, or I feel I should do it.)

I totally killed myself in 2006. I made five. One was to grow my hair to my waist. I can't even exactly remember my logic. I think it was something like, I felt like I was as late in my thirties as I felt like I could get away with super long hair without looking desperate and age inappropriate or something. (I know, I know, there I go letting what soceity thinks lead my thinking about what I have to be, again). So I didn't get a haircut all year. My hair didn't make it to my waist. And the first thing I did at midnight on 12/31/07 was get a haircut (which was possible because I was hanging out with my Mom who is a hair stylist).

Another one was to re-establish a retirement account with automatic contributions. I was feeling like if I was going to live this sports teacher/performer life, I really needed to do it in a financially accountable way.  I didn't want to end up with regrets long term. So, I did that, but let me tell you, it really increased my suffering during that year. These were truly uncomfortable times for me, from the point of cash flow. It wasn't the major focus of my life, but it's one of those problems that can really infiltrate everything else, money.

I honestly don't remember my third and fourth resolutions, but I will always remember my fifth, because I resolved to be a more elegant woman. I was coming from a place, in 2005, where I realized I was making alot of decisions that were resulting in my own unhappiness. I was all worked up and I felt like I disagreed with so much of what was going on around me, but I felt powerless to change it. I was resentful about how certain other people were treating me, but on that cusp of realization where you know you can always walk away if things are not what you want. But I didn't see good solutions if I left either. So I was sort of realizing it was up to me to find a situation to make me happy, really at that point of personal accoutability and giving up the blaming habit, but I couldn't see the path to where I wanted to go. And I just felt so sad, because there were certain things I wished would happen so hard my brain was almost exploding, but they just wouldn't happen.

So, I felt like, I need to at a minimum improve my reactions to these events, at least as seen externally. I was aiming for "duck theory" - you know, how a duck looks so graceful gliding across the water, but underneath the water, where you can't see it, the duck is kicking like all hell. I just didn't want to feel mad, or taken advantage of anymore, and I wanted to have more graceful reactions to the adversity I faced.

The problem with a resolution like "become a more elegant woman" is that it's so vague, and unmeasureable. Kind of like, you know when you get a job, you can do it and leave for the day and truly be done. But when you are in school, you can always do more, and you are really never as done as you can be? That was how this resolution made me feel, it was so unrelenting. Every single choice I made all year long I considered more carefully, every decision was made in the context of trying to live to this standard. I was really, really tired of it by year end.

The thing was, this resolution changed the person I am.  Though I lifted the pressure on December 31st, and I won't beat myself up over behaviours like complaining or gossiping the way I did that year, I will never be the same as I was before 2006.  It changed the way my brain works, kind of rewired my thought patterns. So, in the long run, it was a good thing to do, I guess. But, it hurt.  Change like that really hurts, it is so uncomfortable. I think we can all appreciate that change is necessary in the world, and the wisdom of embracing it rather than resisting it - I mean, who wants to live in a state of resistance? That's not comfortable either. But to get to a point where you really want this kind of change (because obviously it's easy to embrace easy change - go from a flip phone to a smart phone - and that's not the kind of reflective, character testing change I'm thinking of here) - I think it would take a TRULY evolved person.

So in 2007, I just needed some relief from New Year's Resolutions. I didn't make any.

And, I haven't made any full year resolutions that I have really kept since. In 2010 I made a half year resolution which I did keep. And it's one of my contenders for 2012 again. That was, 64 ounces of water a day. The thing about 2010 was, I got married at age 39. I am sorry to sound so vain and shallow, but of course, every woman wants to feel beautiful on her wedding day, and it's so hard to feel beautiful when you have wrinkles.  And, I just don't really consider myself the botox type, though if they ever come up with something that takes the tox (and paralysis) out of botox, I would certainly at least read up on it. For now I'm just sticking with bangs! But, anyway, I just know that when I fill myself like a balloon with water, it kind of plumps my skin from the inside and I look less pruny.  The problem, and the reason I hate doing it so much, is that then I have to pee every ten minutes, which is so annoying. But, I know even a non athlete is supposed to do 64 ounces a day. I mean, I even practice Bikram a lot. I should really be having more than 64 ounces. So, I think this potential resolution is the front runner. And - I should say, I probably do drink 64 on many days - I just don't approach it as methodically and deliberately as I could.

The second consideration is that one I talked about a few months ago, to walk hard and fast for the 30 minute lunch break I get. This is a good resolution too. And while none of the resolutions I am considering directly relate to trapeze, I think they all indirectly do. Cardio is good, life is good when it has more of it. The more I can reduce those particular pounds of my body that are not contributing to me flying higher, the higher I'll fly. I actually did start this resolution a few months ago and kept it through Thanksgiving. Then I ran into a series of days where my boss really needed alot of things, and I couldn't leave work for lunch, and I "fell off the wagon". Also, our office is close to the Hudson. It gets really cold and windy, and we are heading into January, Februray and March right now. My work wardrobe consists of a lot of pencil skirts and sheath dresses. I am just a bit nervous that I'm setting myself up for failure if I chose this one.

But - I did like doing this for the days I did it. We are also on the block where some of the carriage horses live. I got to see this nice horse on one of those walks. I was starting to know the neighborhood dogs, and I always felt way more energized in the afternoon when I did it. So, this really would be a nice resolution.

So, the final contender: Brush my teeth with my left hand every morning and night. For the in between brushings, I would let myself do righty, since I don't have an electric toothbrush at work. I mean, the point is to increase my ambidexterity and to increase the density of my right brain's myelination, not to have my teeth rot. I read a great article about this the other day:

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Tap-into-the-Right-Side-of-Your-Brain-Martha-Beck-Advice/2

So, that's where I'm at. I suppose another option would be to not resolve. Nine days to figure it out and decide. I will certainly let you all know what I choose! Is anyone else resolving? Let me know if you have any good ideas, maybe your idea is better than mine and I will do it with you!!!

2011 In Review...

2011-12-21T21:23:00.000-08:00

As 2011 draws to a close, I've been reflecting a lot on whether I want to make a resolution (or a few resolutions) for 2012, and really what a great year 2011 was. In rough chronological order:

Jan 3rd - Started my new job at field operations, which I love and am so grateful for. I have made a ton of new friends there, learned so much about the field of landscape architecture, and had consistent, adequate, reliable income for the first time since 1999. (And have earned that income without causing my body physical pain). Here is how my boss writes my name to me, I like it!...

February - performed flying for a Streb Valentine's Day Benefit.

March - Hmm. I do not remember too much about March. It was probably cold and dark with a lot of scraping ice off windshields while fantasizing about Caribean vacations, sleep, and vitamin D (to be honest).

April -- Re-upped my PSIA membership, and fulfilled my education requirements by somehow surviving a two day mogul clinic - which even included glades. I did not do this well or with style, but I did it without injury, and I did have one of the best bump runs of my life this year.

May 22nd - Started this blog about flying trapeze. Eventually worked myself into the habit of writing every day, and have experienced at least ten times when someone has told me that they enjoy the blog. =) Turned what could be really treacherous commuting time into a time I can totally focus on trapeze.

June 6. Turned 40 with a flying trapeze party! Had a divine time which included the company of tons of great friends, red velvet cake, fire juggling and a howling Westie.

June 26. Celebrated my one year anniversary with Matt. I couldn't have asked for more and I love him more every day. We ate red velvet pancakes and went surfing!!

July. Achieved my goal of paying off my car loan!!! Flew Omega as a guest artist and performed with the legendary Tony Steele for the first time. Made a ton of new friends and actually somehow pulled off a double trapeze performance with Caitlyn.

PLUS - FIRST DOUBLE TWISTING LAYOUT OUT OF LINES, THANK YOU PETER GOLD!

August - appeared on the smilecam on the jumbotron at Yankee Stadium

September 10 - Welcomed my new niece into the world. Here she is with Matt, after repping 70 leg presses. He insists it was all her doing and he just there providing stability...=)

She has the CUTEST cheeks!

October - Started trying to catch the double without lines on 10/26. Here are my three tries from last night...

November - Visited my brother in California and had a tremendous vacation with Matt including:
Flew at Richie Gaona's and got to fly to Terry Emilio again (who caught the first double I threw him, even though I haven't flown to him in more than a year! (But it was in lines so doesn't count towards my goal)),
Tried my first double forward,
Found the best Mexican Restaurant I have ever eaten at, even better than the ones when I lived in Mexico,
Went to a wine tasting festival,
Went to Matt's favorite vineyard,
Met my new niece and my brother's new dog for the first time,
Enjoyed my brother's family for three days!
For the first time in my life, trained a puppy to do a skill. I've just never had a dog before, and this was so much fun. Here look, she's a total prodigy...

Learned to shoot a gun...

After I learned "Bill drill" where I had to make a shotgun sound like an automatic weapon, (but six bullets through the target super fast), reload, and clear an obstruction. I guess I was ust so uptight about it that he thought that would be a good way to loosen me up!
Went to the Monterey Aquarium and got to enjoy this magical creature (& friends):

December - A delicious work in progress. Blog passed 10,000 views!

Also this year, like a good girl, I:

- Religiously adhered to my car's maintenance manual, as much of a non-fulfilling way to spend money and time as it was,
- Went to the dentist twice,
- Read at least 3.5 books (that I recall "Geek Love", "Body Language", "The Secret", and "The Art of the Start")
- Practiced Bikram at least 50 times (or at least paid for them!),
- Probably went through six variations of hair color,
- Made at least one catch as a catcher. I may have caught a little class for Mary Kelly this spring too, I just can't exactly remember...
- Took a few trampoline classes, though I would like to take more!
- Through a bunch of fulls and 540s across, plus a handful of stars, layouts, and forwards,
- Flew on a consistent basis, without ibuprofen, and with no to negligible shoulder pain.

And the year's not over yet!!

Bright orange

2011-12-20T04:33:00.000-08:00

scaffolding on 34th Street. Are you thinking what I'm thinking???

The things that happened preceding, during, and after last night’s training

2011-12-19T04:52:00.000-08:00

Preceding
First, I didn’t budget my time very well, and ended up running out the door to make the train to the rig. And while traveling in, I realized I never finished my lunch, I only had two spoonfuls of cous cous. I felt so hungry. So when we came up to Penn Station, I tried to find somewhere I could just pick up a Cliff bar. But everything had such long lines, and I didn't have time to spare. I eventually found a place without a line where I could get some cough drops and coconut water, and hoped that would be a good enough calorie shot. Honestly, I prefer to fly light so I’d rather be hungry than full anyway.

During
By the time I got to the rig, I wasn’t late, but I just felt so late. Everyone had already had a round of swings. I have all these shoulder exercises I do to warm up before I swing. I do not consider them optional. They are the PT my physical therapist assigned me after my surgery, and I stick to them religiously. My shoulder has been very, very good to me since the surgery. I don’t need to mess with that by wavering my tenacity towards caring for it properly. So, by the time I got through those, everyone else had already gone twice. So now I feel quite behind, as I finally get up there.

My warm up swing went okay. Then I threw a layout. That was acceptable, although we discussed how I could keep my shoulders a bit more open on the drive, and it would be even better.

Then I did a full, which was probably the high point of training. Though I haven’t been giving the full a ton of attention lately, I do rep it at least once a class. I’ve been trying to twist through it with my legs together. They were pretty together last night, so good.

Then I threw my first double. It was okay, nothing stand out but I did feel I opened at a better than usual angle. But my hip angle wasn’t that good, open angle we are looking for off the bar. So I tried to fix that on the next one. I felt like my hips were more open, but then they never really closed in, and it rotated really slowly.

So then for the next two, I tried to focus more on the open. They were okay. Nothing stellar, but some okay open hips, though no open knees, and some moderately better angle than I have been doing.

Then it was time for the first try for catch. Now that Josh was finally there, I think I was way more excited, I felt alive again. My swing again, felt great, I was all sorts of happy in the air.

Jason said “break”.

I broke.

Now I’m doing that part where I spin in the air, and ALL I am thinking about is “Patience! Wait for Josh’s open call!” I never heard it, so I never opened. Next thing I know, I feel like a human volleyball. Because as I'm tucked and rotating, I feel Josh’s fingers gently “set” me, on my back.

So, now I know the skill was long. I honestly never knew until he had to move me, I was still waiting for that “Out!”. So it turns out the way this happened is that I responded more quickly to the “break” than I had been during the rest of class.

So now I go for the second try. I have it in my head that there are two corrections I need to do. 1. Respond more slowly to the break call, and 2. try to open with my kneecaps, if they were eyeballs," looking" at the catch ridge rope. Jason called “break”. I waited a heartbeat, then broke. I did the flips and waited until I felt my knees could "see" the ridge rope. I opened with my knees, but not my head. But everyone said this was a better trick. Then training was over.

After
My train home on Sundays has been at 8:14, so I have been bolting from the rig with my grips still on, really hustling to make it. Well, today I went earlier in the order of rotation, so I actually had time to take off my grips and put them away and still be there by 8:12. I am feeling grateful for the relaxed pace as I descend into Penn Station, and look at the big board that lists the tracks. The train is not there. But I’m not late. I don’t get it.

So I walk to the paper schedule display, to figure it out. Turns out they changed the schedules this week, and moved the trains seven minutes earlier. So my train left at 8:07. So now I have to sit in Penn Station, doing nothing, until 9:07.

Then I started contemplating how this new schedule will adversely affect my life in the coming weeks, when fitting everything I want to do in is already hard enough. I feel like I never get to see my husband as it is (although I did have dinner with him on Friday). So, now I’m going to have to leave class early. Or, I can drive in and deal with the Lincoln tunnel traffic, pay tolls and parking, and not be able to write this blog in transit (when I already have a monthly train ticket, and parking for the train is free on the weekend). The more I think about it, the more aggravated I get.

So, in an attempt to feel better, and mitigate the fact that I never had lunch or dinner, I buy a Greek salad, and a big fat brownie for dessert.

So trapeeps, let me tell you about this brownie in detail, because it was one of the best things that happened to me today.

It was really gooey. On top of the brownie part was a layer of chocolate icing. Then, stuck in the chocolate icing was a layer of M&Ms, in every color. Then, drizzled back and forth on top of the M&Ms, was a striped chocolate ribbon. It was so rich, I actually couldn’t even finish it, but I enjoyed every bite that I did eat. You can see the remnants above.

Now, I know evolved, fit people do not seek solace in food. Particularly serious athletes, that care about advancement and achievement. Intellectually, I know that sugar calories are devoid of nutrition. But I, don't, CARE!

Know When to Hold Em, Know When to Fold Em...

2011-12-18T09:48:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon trapeeps! I just want to thank everyone for riding this roller coaster with me, because we hit 10,000 views last night. I am working on trying to find out who the 10,000 hit was, so I can buy them some new grips. But if I can't, I will do something for Colby, Adam, Terry, Paul, and Pammy, who commented about it on my facebook page!

Speaking of Pam, she was talking to me about knowing the frustration of working a skill until you feel like you are blue in the face. How she has had success in the past with just walking away from it for a little, and when you come back, with the failure not as fresh, all of a sudden you rock it out. Do I want to try this?

I think about it every day. Because honestly, I feel like a child, but my attention span is just shorter than what this skill is demanding. I'm a very optimistic person, so I'm pretty resilient, and I actually don't feel the skill is defeating me or anything. I just do feel it's holding me back from the other things I want to do. But I also know that the fix is SO SIMPLE. So why don't I just do it and enable myself to move on?

Plus there is the concern I mentioned the other day about repping the miss into muscle memory...

I guess I feel like leaving the struggle and taking the "prize" of getting to work on something fresh and new is a privilege I have to earn. I think about what Anthony said, probably for me, the most important concept he conveyed in that chat: don't give up, because if you do, you teach yourself that that is an okay choice.

I understand that sometimes it will help to table a situation for a while, and that doesn't mean you are surrendering, just placing it on the back burner. I just feel like I have so much time invested in this. But those words reek of desperation, they remind me of my past banker days, when people who didn't want to pull money out of a bad investment. How important it is to not throw good dollars after bad. I know that in a way, Pam is right, as is Anthony.

I just believe I can do this. I'm not ready to bolt yet, and I'm still assuming it won't have to come to that.

So this is my intention tonight. Because I can just catch this thing tonight. I'm going to windmill my arms around the side from my legs to behind my back, nice and wide. So Josh can see and reach them, but I don't have to worry about hitting him. And I am going to take my stupid chin off my chest. Trapeeps, if I have to wear a freaking neck brace like Mr. Brady, I am going to do it tonight, I am getting that chin off my chest. No turtle Liz tonight!

And, I feel like my task right now is the perfect setting in which to prepare. I am converting this....

Into this...

Sculpting the gorgeous and shiny out of the sloppy. A perfectly sychronistic backdrop against which to train this double.

Look what came in the mail today... : )

2011-12-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

I am very excited about these new split sole ballet slippers I'm going to try out on the rig. Love the packaging here too!

For the longest time, I used gymnastics vaulting shoes, but they are white. So they cut the leg line short, create a horizontal line at the ankle that I don't find flattering. Plus, I find they make the heel seem squarish, rather than exactly following the foot. I need all the help I can get with my lines, so that won't do!

So then I switched to rhythmic gymnastics half shoes, which I love, but burn through faster than a speeding bullet. I thought with winter coming, it might be nice to have something with a little more coverage, but I definitely didn't want anything white, or anything that would interfere with the line of my point. So hopefully these will be all I hope for! Realistically, I think it would be smart for me to reinforce the bottoms with some tape before I even go to the rig, because I had a hole in my last capezio pair on the first wearing. (The surface of the riser is pretty abrasive, but I am so grateful for the lack of slip, and I will never complain about that.)

2011-12-16T05:27:00.000-08:00

Here are the doubles I threw on Wednesday:

So they pretty strongly resemble the doubles I always throw - unacceptable open, no catch.

I have to say, as I swing through the air, I am in such a place of joy. I stumbled on something Wednesday that may really help me rethink, and get better take offs. I hit the heel of my left hand on the bar when I grabbed it. That just ended up placing the dowel in such a sweet place. I really felt the freedom to work my swing. Honestly, doing these doubles, when I am forcing out, I am feeling SO HAPPY. I have thoughts like, "OH, okay, here it is, this is the one." And then the next thing you know, there I am, buried under the clams in the net. It's a surprise to me each time that we don't catch.

But I bet to anyone watching, it's not a surprise at all, because statistics don't lie.

And here's the thing - you really do get to a point where you start pondering, am I training the miss into myself? Am making things worse than if I didn't even try to catch this skill? Because, right now, I can't deny it, I am repping misses into my muscle memory. Does that serve my ultimate goals?

You know, I could never support abusive coaching, and I have been so resentful during the times in my life when I have found myself in those situations. But right about now, I'm kind of seeing the value in some mean coach with a thick accent saying simply, "If that's all your gonna bring, then I'm not going to coach you anymore."

Because really, what is the correction I need to do? I need to lift my head up. I mean, Josh would answer that differently, he would say I need to open later, when he tells me. Which I am really trying to do. But I think I also need to lift my head up.

Now, this would be a different story if Josh said, "Liz, for us to catch this, you need to break back two feet further with your legs glued shut and knees straight through the break, that is what it is going to take." In this scenario, I could look at him with a straight face, I could pass a lie detector test, saying "My body isn't capable of that right now". But that is not what he is asking. He is asking for me to be more patient. And though I don't seem to be doing it, that IS within my current skill set.

And what I am asking for from myself, is that I lift my head. And that is also within my skill set. Here, I will demonstrate with a little video on NJ transit right now, as I commute my way home.

So, how about that?? Proof that I am capable of the correction I need to do. So why is it, that when it's time to do it, I pull off this turtle impersonation and recoil "into my shell"?

People say that actions speak louder than words. I can tell Josh I want this, I can come on here and write that I want this. But, maybe I really don't. Because, though I am capable of them, I don't do the movement changes that would make it happen. So, maybe I am addicted to the drama of my failure. Or drenched in fear of success. I think I am such a simploid, but maybe there are in fact deep issues lurking in my brain that I can't recognize.

Or maybe I really do want success, but the conscious "volume" of my desire for success is lower than the subconscious volume of my desire for status quo.

Matt always tells me this expression, as he bitches about his own training obstacles. It's originally in Latin and that is how he says it, but I don't stand a chance at pulling that off. So here is my Lizzy brain interpretation of it: "We want neither our problems, nor their solutions".

So I told Jesse this theory. He said he doesn't think so, he thinks it's a muscle memory thing. He said he thinks my body is just doing what it wants to do. I hope he is right.

Jason said he thinks we just need to work the open. This appeals to me alot. Because if I get, "Break harder", "Break Quicker", "Open Shoulders off the Bar","tuck tighter", "tuck longer", "out later", all coming at me, I tend to only correct that last thing we spoke about. It seems like while there are a lot of components to this that aren't ideal, that is the one fix that would make the biggest difference. Perhaps I can ask to unilaterally focus on that on Sunday.

I have been around long enough that I have seen alot of flyers go through this process to their first double catch. Most of them probably were doing the skill better than I was, and it took them a long time too. So, I know it is the nature of the skill, and I am trying to stay positive in mind.

Princeton University just redeemed itself in my eyes...

2011-12-15T03:00:00.000-08:00

After rejecting me as an undergrad.

Of course those, we again witness the popular culture depiction of the catcher in a knee hang. You would think those ivy leagers would know better ; ) ; ) . But, will forgive them, based on the intention being there. Though you won't catch me flying to any catchers in a knees hang anytime soon! (At least not in a Spanish catch trap. Maybe the real problem is that the trapeze is wrong, not the position).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB38-McMtC0